


Three Nights in the Sun

by Ziane



Category: Founder of Diabolism, The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love Again, First Times, Fluff and Smut, Lust at First Sight, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Novel Setting, Shameless Smut, Virgin Jiang Cheng
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-03 18:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21183815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziane/pseuds/Ziane
Summary: The last thing Jiang Cheng expected while attending a Discussion Conference in Lanling was to reunite with an old friend from his childhood.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I was thirsty for SangCheng and this happened ε=ε=ε=ε=ε” “(/*’-‘*)/ Thank you so much, archistratego for reminding me my love for these two when I didn't know what to write (Long story short, it's your fault xDDDD) (⺣◡⺣)♡*  
There's lots of smut, so you've been warned (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ and I've tried a new characterization here xDD

Discussion conferences bored Jiang Cheng to death, but soon they became the sign that the cultivation world had come back to normal after the war. Year after year, and in hopes he could leave the past behind too, he attended dutifully to some or avoided others, allowing himself to escape the tedium of his life. There was no way to escape this one since it was time for Jin Ling to return to Lanling for the remainder of the season.

Jiang Cheng glances inadvertently at his nephew as they climb the stairs to Jinlin tower, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Sometimes he’s the spitting image of his sister, and his heart shatters at a doleful past that will haunt him for the rest of his days. At least he has him.

Fairy barks when they reach the top and Jin Ling pats lightly his head. “Go greet Lianfang-zun,” Jiang Cheng says, his gaze lost in the sea of peonies blooming all over the place as if they wanted to conquer the Fragrant Palace with its presence. 

Their scent lingers in the air, refreshing, and somehow mournful. The last few times he visited Jiang Yanli here, she always insisted on a stroll through the gardens upon his arrival. Memories used to bring unshed tears to his eyes, now they leave a bittersweet taste in his mouth, perhaps he is getting better.

“Are you leaving?” Jin Ling frowns. He has learned to recognize his uncle’s moods, the lonesome air that bathes him when he’s sad, the sparks that glitter in his eyes when he’s angry. In both cases, Jiang Cheng always sends him away as if he could protect him from the ghosts from his past. Jin Ling is glad to be back but also homesick to leave Lotus Pier behind. Life there seems easier, more pleasant, in Lanling he carries a different weight over his shoulders; about his parents. Everyone knows, everyone pities him.

“No.” Jiang Cheng exhales a deep breath through his nostrils. He will remain here for four days and three nights, enjoying the company of his nephew while he can, and dreading the task of socializing with the other sect leaders. He avoided the slow carriage path on purpose and arrived early. “Do as I told you.” He arches an eyebrow at Jin Ling and that’s enough to send him trotting down the paved square and into the palace. When he’s out of sight, Jiang Cheng smiles. He could use a moment of peace. Grasping Sandu by the hilt, the gesture reassuring and soothing, he moves an importunate branch aside and walks into the flourishing garden in solitude, or so he believes.

Jiang Cheng ventures through a sinuous path enclosed by a sea of Sparks Amidst Snow. An early summer blooming paints the landscape in orange, yellow, and white. He’d rather enjoy a fresh pond flooded by lotuses but cannot deny the beauty of peonies, their heady scent or the sweet memories they awaken. His heart leaps at the sight of a seemingly abandoned tea house too inconvenient and far from the palace. The wooden structure is well preserved, but it lacks the long, see-through curtains and the flowery decorations that complimented the interior with the outside. 

It is less luxurious than any hall or tea room of Jinlin Tower, but it was her favorite place during the time she lived here. Only Jiang Yanli would find beauty in a pagoda surrounded by an ever-growing garden. It is as though Jiang Cheng could still listen to her cheerful laugh and the mellow cooing of a baby in her arms. His stomach churns at the memory clearly painted in his brain; like a shadow that vanishes in the breeze. How he wished things hadn’t happened the way they did.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” A soft, easily recognizable voice says by his side.

Jiang Cheng turns about to look at the source of the voice and swoons in delight at the long, black hair enclosing familiar features he hadn’t seen in longer than he can remember. He finds a smile that once he liked to search for surreptitiously; admire behind a veil of indifference, dream about in peaceful nights free of nightmares.

Nie Huaisang hasn’t changed at all, and yet almost everything about him appears different. Perhaps not his smile nor the gentleness of his voice, but his eyes are sharper, his lips full and pinkish until his inseparable folding fan gets in the way of his gaze. Jiang Cheng flicks his eyes to him, to those golden, beautiful eyes that brimmed with innocence and now spark with cunningness. He always knew he was smarter than everyone else believed, resolute not while listening to morning readings but while painting fans or composing poems. His peerless beauty lay somewhere else, but now it beams at him as the sun itself, blinding, new, and warm.

Taken aback by his unexpected presence, Jiang Cheng stiffens, his thumb rolling Zidian as he studies him and gets a glimpse of his teenage years in his old friend. Nights spend with the taste of Emperor’s Smile in their tongues, of a shared kiss he never claimed, of the grace that he sensed back then and now blooms in full force in front of him. Not even the lavish ocean of peonies can hold a candle to Nie Huaisang’s ravishing beauty under the bright, morning sun of a summery day. 

Or any day.

Why haven’t they seen each other all these years? Jiang Cheng’s legs fail to ground him for a moment. Ah, the loss, the deaths, the war, the pain… because of all that. Was he so caught up in his own grief? Secluded in his own solitary home?

His chest fills as Nie Huaisang inhales the spring cocktail enveloping them, his eyes narrowing, the gentle breeze of his fan billowing the few loose strands at the front and offering an intermittent gift when he’s able to relish in the lure of his features or is equally denied of them. “Are they not?” Nie Huaisang relays.

“You are,” Jiang Cheng croaks. An unfamiliar heat ignites his cheeks. “I mean, they are,” he scoffs, averting his gaze to anywhere but those squinting eyes. Jiang Cheng clears his throat, hoping the sunshine serves as an excuse for the extra blush on his cheeks.

Nie Huaisang chortles with glee, fanning himself lazily as if he hadn’t heard his blunter. “I’ve missed you, Wanyin,” he says with a sigh. “If I may call you by your name.”

Jiang Cheng answers with a jerky nod. “Huaisang,” he greets.

His name caresses his lips as he dares to eye him again. No, it wasn’t a fabrication of his mind or wishful thinking, Nie Huaisang holds the beauty of a thousand gardens like this in his features. The way he stands tall and proper, how every small detail of his attire has been primly thought to exhaustion, how the length of his onyx hair drapes down his shoulders and his back longer than he’s ever seen. It suits him, beauty suits him all too well.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your daydreaming.” Nie Huaisang graces him with a sultry smile.

“I wasn’t…” Jiang Cheng mutters, swallowing dryly at the suggestion. Perhaps he was, but probably not about what Nie Huaisang wonders. But what does he know? They haven’t seen each other in years, what he has heard about him sounded like mean gossipping and doesn’t match the man standing beside him. Jiang Cheng smiles inadvertently. He’s still smaller than him, delicate, jade skin unmarred by war or grief despite he knows Nie Huaisang carries his own burdens over his shoulders. What is the secret so it doesn’t show? He means to ask, but refrains from doing so.

Before he indulges in yet another improper stare, Jiang Cheng speaks: “May I escort you back? The conference will be about to start.” He offers his arm, not sure why, but they are no strangers, and there’s no one around. He tells himself it’s perfectly normal when Nie Huaisang links his arm around his, walking abreast. At least he’s not carrying him piggyback because he indulged too much. The thought translates in a withheld smile.

“It is not every day I can walk by your side,” Nie Huaisang says, and the praise brings back a new shade of red to his cheeks. 

Silence envelopes them, and Jiang Cheng thanks him for the lack of small talk. As if they were both admiring the gardens when he’s truly basking in his presence and the sudden cheerful memories warming up his heart.

The chirping of the birds and the breeze rustling the leaves of the trees become their companions until he glimpses the paved square. He should let his arm go, and when he’s about to, Nie Huaisang trips on a jutting stone and stumbles. Only in time for Jiang Cheng to steady him. He tightens his hold on him, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

The moment Nie Huaisang is grounded on his feet again, the folding fan flicks open and covers his smile, but he can see it in the corners of his eyes. “Some things never change,” Nie Huaisang quips. 

Lost for words, Jiang Cheng scoffs, releasing him gently but halting his strides. A dreadful day looms over him. Nie Huaisang walks past by him as if he knew Jiang Cheng will need a few more minutes of solitude before they swim in an ocean full of sea monsters or perhaps he doesn’t want the others to see them together.

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang turns around, “my guest residence happens to be beside yours.” Jiang Cheng blinks twice. “Perhaps later we could reminisce while sharing a tea, or a jar of wine, your choice.”

That sweet, sultry smile tugs at the corners of his mouth before Nie Huaisang turns about and heads toward the Fragrant Palace with firm strides as if he would never trip in a place like this. He follows the length of his figure with dazing eyes, the invitation finally sinking into his mind. “Y-yes,” he mumbles for himself and himself alone for Nie Huaisang is too far away. “Some things never change, indeed,” he mutters, his clammy hand wrapping around Sandu.

Throughout the day, Jiang Cheng has been thinking about him, sneaking sidelong glances at his fellow sect leader, overly aware of his presence. Nie Huaisang seemed not to care much about the extra attention. Because he knew, sensed his eyes on him and met his gaze more than once, gracing him with an insouciant smile. Nie Huaisang dismissed any conversations about the conference out of boredom, expressing his interest in the following banquet or the new art pieces Lianfang-zun acquired. It stings, to feel slightly ignored, but after so many years in which he could have written a letter or pay him a visit he didn’t.

The last time they saw each other comes back to him during the feast. A discussion conference in Gusu two years ago, and before that, Chifeng-zun’s funeral. So much for a friend, but he was going through his own hell. Jiang Cheng swallows the bitter memories while the pleasant, nightly breeze strokes his face. After the long and copious feast, he accompanied Jin Ling to his chambers and then escaped the rivers of wine and liquor washing the guests in favor of his own guest residence and the peace of what he hopes is a good night’s sleep.

Jiang Cheng is not particularly fond or close to anyone attending the Lanling conference except Jin Ling and, perhaps Nie Huaisang. Seeing him awakened a sense of familiarity similar to the one he felt with Wei Wuxian. They were thick as thieves, and then... He’s not the same as he was in the prime of his youth. After his parents died, after he lost his golden core, his sister, his brother… Jiang Cheng is not the same person Nie Huaisang met back in the Cloud Recesses, and yet he feels as if he could see through him; through all his pain and didn’t care.

Back then, he was a boy and then, he was alone. Still is.

Nie Huaisang acts as if he were still a carefree youth with not a worry in the world, hoping others will aid him to solve his problems. Jiang Cheng knows he’s capable of more than he pretends, and he cannot yet grasp why would he behave like someone who knows nothing and cares for frivolities alone when he knows him better than that.

Jiang Cheng sighs, rolling Zidian in an endless loop as he approaches his guest residence, dreading the loneliness trapped in between four walls more than the one that accompanies him as he strolls through gardens and pagodas. The flowers’ scent is sweeter at night, the stars and a full moon illuminating his path. He remembers Nie Huaisang’s offer and wonders if he’ll be still enjoying the feast or if he has already retired to his room. He spent most of the night talking to Zewu-jun and drunk-crying over Jin Guangyao’s shoulder. That’s where he took his leave with Jin Ling.

A quick detour won’t hurt, he decides. He’ll sleep better if he’s tired and bored and mildly intoxicated. Past his gloomy and dark residence, he spots dim candlelight coming out of Nie Huaisang’s. Hope fills his chest, but his hands are clammy, his heart deciding on his own to go for a gallop. His strides never falter as he silently stands in front of his door. This is a late, ill-timed moment to accept his offer. Nie Huaisang was probably being polite, and he’s most likely being a nuisance showing up at these wee hours.

His fist stills in the air in front of the door frame when thin, see-through curtains billow outside from a window left ajar, grasping his attention. Nie Huaisang never set a time to… _ reminisce_, but he should leave and call it a day, forget the past -as if he could- and try talking to him tomorrow. If the offer still stands.

What would they talk about anyhow? Happy memories of a few months in the Cloud Recesses, of a long-forgotten life, of a visit to Lotus Pier, a few night-hunts and then… All their loved ones are dead or condemned, they share the burden of being sect leaders, and they once were… were… his thoughts trail off treacherously.

This was a bad idea. 

Turning about, Jiang Cheng sighs and walks by the window in the direction of his own solitaire chambers. He never meant to peek inside, but the unexpected sight he glimpses through the corner of his eye makes his legs halt. His breath seizes in his chest, his whole body stiffening as if moving a muscle would snitch him away. His hands clutch into two tight fists, his throat awfully dry. The pleasant nightly breeze does nothing to tame the heat coursing through his body and reminding him he’s alive.

With his back at him, Nie Huaisang soaks in a bucket tub placed at the feet of his bed, his hair draping out and gracefully grazing the wooden floor. Jiang Cheng’s mouth parts in an inaudible gasp. A wet cloth washes the creamy skin of his shoulders while his other hand moves the hair away from his nape. It leaves a pink hue behind.

The corner of his lips tugs upward inadvertently. He knew his skin would be soft and delicate as to blush with the simple touch of steamy water. Nie Huaisang stands, and Jiang Cheng clenches his jaw until it hurts. His brain tells him to leave, his heart and eyes choose otherwise.

He roams the length of his back with greedy eyes, the sinuous curve of his spine, and the lush curve of a lean but perfectly rounded butt. His groin tightens, aware of the lack of room inside his lower garments. Nie Huaisang sits on the rim of the tub, the cloth washing away the day. _ Heaven, he’s beautiful,_ Jiang Cheng wonders. _ He’s always been._

A gust of wind moves the lapels of the window until they tap the wall and Nie Huaisang swivels about to glance over his shoulder. At first, he sees nothing, and Jiang Cheng hesitates if he should move or not, but as if sensing his eyes on him, Nie Huaisang smiles and meets his dark blue eyes through the darkness of the night and the soft curtain trembling in the summer breeze. He sees him through years of want, through a damaged core, through his very soul. Jiang Cheng panics.

Nie Huaisang never flinches nor covers his nudeness, but at being caught red-handed staring at a man taking a bath, Jiang Cheng feels his cheeks burn with embarrassment and takes a step back. Free of the spell, Jiang Cheng averts his gaze and eludes Nie Huaisang’s intent stare. He mumbles a curse under his nose and escapes. He should apologize, it wasn’t intentional, he was there taking up an invitation, but temptation left him breathless.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get far enough though. The double doors of the room open.

“Wanyin, wait,” Nie Huaisang calls. Now it’s time for Jiang Cheng to note his eyes piercing his back. It’s too late to escape this situation with his dignity intact. “Wanyin.” The soft, almost smug tune in the way he says his name gets to him.

Jiang Cheng turns around in time to watch Nie Huaisang under the threshold, combing his hair out of a thin robe. It covers him from neck to toes but sticks to his slightly damp skin in a way he’d want to do himself. Jiang Cheng chastises himself for the thought, clearing his throat as he stares at the soft smile stretching on his lips to avoid his dark, golden eyes.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he mutters, “but you said... the wine,” he babbles, cursing under his breath. “You said to share a jar of wine and I came.” He finally meets his eyes, swallowing dryly his embarrassment.

Nie Huaisang crooks an eyebrow. “You seemed uninterested in my invitation.” He shivers under the moonlight, his skin wet and cooling down after the steamy bath. “You seem interested enough now.” A sly smile beams at him.

“I should leave you to it,” Jiang Cheng retorts as if he were angry at him when he’s angry at himself for his weakness. Nie Huaisang chuckles, clutching coyly the lapels of his flimsy robe. “To your bath,” Jiang Cheng clarifies.

“Or come inside and we could share the promised jar of wine,” Nie Huaisang offers with an inviting smile. There’s no sign of embarrassment or anger in his countenance albeit his eyes spark with a hint of amusement.

A subtle furrow appears in between his eyebrows, but Jiang Cheng nods, following him back inside and thanking the dim light of the candles. He’s sure he’s still flustered, and his gaze trailing down Nie Huaisang’s backside isn’t helping. Once he’s inside and the door closed, Nie Huaisang turns about with a mischievous smile that sends a frisson through his spine.

“How long have you been staring at me?” Nie Huaisang asks, prowling toward him. Even though Jiang Cheng takes two steps back, he bumps into the door and stills, watching the man inch his way in his direction with unfaltering, barefoot strides. That’s the moment he realizes he’s been lured inside and he cannot even be angry at himself for falling into his little game. “Why were you staring at me, Wanyin?”

Nie Huaisang pins him to the door not with speed or force but with determination as if he had the upper hand and Jiang Cheng was at his mercy. He presses against him until their bodies are close enough Jiang Cheng relishes in the lingering warmth of the bath oozing from his skin. Something in his smile reveals how much Nie Huaisang knows he wouldn’t move or reject his advances, not when he’s besotted with him. 

His forehead is at the perfect height to lean down and kiss it, but Jiang Cheng clears his throat to speak. “I w-was not,” he stutters.

A soft chortle startles him, but the wish to push him aside and escape his spell, his room, and Lanling on the same night dies in a grunt. He’s paralyzed, enthralled by the heat emanating from him, by the flowery scent of his hair, and the remnants of unshared wine in his breath.

“You were.” Nie Huaisang smiles the words knowingly.

“You’re worth looking at,” Jiang Cheng hisses as if it wasn’t a compliment and just a mere insult. Nie Huaisang’s smile widens.

“Don’t you already know you can look at me whenever you want? However you want?” Nie Huaisang lets his body weight fall against his chest, hands at both sides of his waist, enclosing him. Jiang Cheng swallows audibly. “Do you wish to watch me bathe some more?” he offers as though it were a jest.

“No,” Jiang Cheng lies. Clammy hands cling to the wood underneath his palms while Nie Huaisang studies him in a daze. “It was an accident, I never meant to...” Nie Huaisang arches a questioning eyebrow. 

What is he doing here? What is he playing at? Why is he drawn to him like a moth to the light? This is so not like him he isn’t sure this is a dream and he’ll wake up in a pool of sweat.

“Have you forgotten?” Nie Huaisang challenges, a spark of displeasing in his golden eyes.

“What is there to forget?” Jiang Cheng mutters.

Then the pleasant warmth of his body lifts from him, his eyes piercing him in place with unforgivingness. He’s free to leave and yet he’s never felt more shackled to a place and a person like he does now. They were so young, so naïve. He stole a kiss and left, regretful to open his heart to someone when that’s not what he was supposed to do. And yet he did. What could that possibly mean to either of them now? It was never meant to be, to begin with. Jiang Cheng comes back to the heated, sudden kiss he gave to Nie Huaisang. It happened an eternity ago, in another life, and he dreads to be faced now with the past and it shows. Denying it seemed easier, for you cannot lose what you don’t have.

“As you wish,” Nie Huaisang rumbles, turning his back at him as if it wasn’t Jiang Cheng the one invited to leave his chambers and Nie Huaisang could escape through a nonexistent back door.

In an impulse, Jiang Cheng reaches for his wrist and pulls him onward against his chest. He twirls them around, pinning Nie Huaisang against the door. He should leave through that same door before it’s too late. His lips part in a gasp and, fearful to let his prey escape, Jiang Cheng pushes against him in a whole-body caress. “Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang calls as if trying to reason with sapphire sparkling eyes mad with desire. 

Ignoring his plea or rightfully taking up his invitation, Jiang Cheng leans down and devours his mouth like the teenage who did so long ago. Their lips clash, his teeth bump awkwardly, and then his tongue slips inside the comforting, wet home he has missed. A groan rumbles in his chest. It’s better than he remembers, his mouth permeated with the taste of rice wine, his lips plump and willing, parting with eagerness and allowing him inside as if nothing else mattered.

Jiang Cheng kisses him allowing himself the pleasure to want, to love, to take and enjoy freely his mouth. How can he miss what he never had? Longing for this now after years of numbing existence. A delectable whine pours out of Nie Huaisang’s mouth and he deepens the kiss, trying to steal them all for himself. They are his, now, here, ever.

It gets unbearably hot, spit-licked lips busy abusing and claiming him when he has no right to do so. Does he? Jiang Cheng realizes he’s rutting against him, full of desire and life as if he had been lost and now he was found. He pushes reason aside in favor of breathless, mindless kisses in case once they part his cowardice conquers him again. How to face those golden, beautiful eyes? What would he think of him now? He steals yet another lover’s kiss when they’ve never been that.

Nie Huaisang clutches to the lapels of his garments, his body trembling again under undeserving lips that forgot about him in favor of grief. Can he blame Jiang Cheng for it, though? The line between revenge and pleasure blur at every swipe of his tongue, at every possessive bite of his teeth and every shameful moan that leaves his mouth and goes right into Jiang Cheng’s. His legs turn to jelly and his brain to mush, and he cannot even pull him away and pretend he’s utterly offended by this attack. How he would want to muster the courage to deny this from him and yet, Nie Huaisang sobs and sucks at his tongue.

This awaited, luscious attack is what he has craved every time Nie Huaisang saw Jiang Cheng, and the latter didn’t even notice him. So many… and they matter nothing to him now, not with his mouth willingly giving him everything he’s ever wanted, not with his body weight grinding and rubbing against him as if he knew no shame; as if this blunt fool wanted him! Nie Huaisang wryly thinks. At least he got a glimpse of the teenage he was back then.

When Jiang Cheng pauses to take a sharp intake of air, their gazes meet. Sparkling night sky meets a deep golden prairie. Nie Huaisang wrings the lapels of his jianxiu with white-knuckle force. “You _do_ remember,” he whispers, breathless and needy for more.

His eyes brim with desire louder than the tale of his hard cock against his hip. Nie Huaisang shifts his leg to rub his length and Jiang Cheng grunts, pushing against him in return. A hand sneaks in between them, palming him through the damp fabric of his trousers.

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng warns, but sounds more like a pitiful complaint.

“Do you need my help with that?” Nie Huaisang offers, finding comfort in the shameless behavior that seems to leave Jiang Cheng stunned. His fingers brush the jutting erection bulging his undergarments, his hand squeezing at the lack of an answer. He’s getting impatient, and the longer they’re not crushing against each other, the bigger the chances are Jiang Cheng runs away from him. “Wanyin, do you want me to relieve you?”

“W-what do you…?” Jiang Cheng struggles to find the words of reason with Nie Huaisang touching him so intimately. His words are tinged with want, his voice sultry and low, forbidden. If he wants this? What does he know? His thoughts never went further than owning his mouth and drowning into his body. But this? His past self is screaming at him to take and allow to be taken.

Nie Huaisang takes over, recognizing the subtle innocence behind his stuttering, the spark of fright behind the lust heating up his body and hardening his groin. “Let me tell you a secret,” he whispers, a hand on his chest, the other brushing his length back and forth through the fabric of his lower garments.

Nie Huaisang frees himself of the trap between the door and Jiang Cheng’s mad desire, he makes him walk backward a few steps, then stands on his tiptoes and whispers again against his ear. “I am not the same naïve boy you stole a kiss from, so…” he trails off, letting his tongue out to lick a very red earlobe. “Do you want my help with this?” His hand squeezes his length and Jiang Cheng bites back a moan. “Or do you still want to share a jar of wine?” He pauses, an old wound stinging as if recently opened. “Or do you wish to leave my chambers and disappear from my life again?”

Too many questions Jiang Cheng has no answer for, but before an ocean of doubts floods him, he nods, feeling Nie Huaisang’s soft breath puffing on his neck. He gets a glimpse of his smile when they’re facing each other, his tongue tied, his eyes pleading for the things his heart hankers for.

Nie Huaisang awaits, ignoring his pitiful nod. “Yes,” Jiang Cheng breathes out.

Despite not having said which one, Nie Huaisang knows: all of them. He opens his own robe, the only layer that covers his nudeness, and smiles triumphantly when Jiang Cheng’s eyes rivet his skin without daring to touch. His shy cock is hard by his kisses, and it swells under his gaze. Nie Huaisang hides from everything and everyone but before him? How could he deny himself the pleasure to be worshiped by Jiang Cheng’s heated gaze? He presents to him bare, defenseless, willing to be owned, and, perhaps loved.

But Jiang Cheng isn’t ready, he remains motionless, his chest rising and falling with his breathing, mouth agape, hands clenched into two tight fists. “You are out of this world,” he mumbles for more himself than Nie Huaisang. 

The statement brings a sly smile to his lips. Nie Huaisang undoes his sash and sneaks his fingers underneath his garments. Hot skin and hard muscles caress his knuckles, and while meeting his gaze, he sinks to his knees with the full intention of driving him mad. “W-where are you going?” Jiang Cheng says, uncomfortably hard and dreadfully impatient.

“Stop me if you don’t want this,” Nie Huaisang dares.

Naughty fingers pull down his garments until his cock springs free from the strain. Jiang Cheng gasps, turning a new shade of red but refusing to avert his gaze from him. Nie Huaisang’s mouth waters at the sight of a round, gorgeous cock, long enough to leave him breathless -which he hopes- and thick enough to fill him better than any lover he’s ever had. Because he has had countless, trying to find Jiang Cheng’s eyes behind them but finding nothing more than temporary relief and a handful of regrets.

He takes him by the hilt, weights him in his hand. “N-no…” Jiang Cheng mumbles, and Nie Huaisang pauses, glancing up at him with pleading eyes. “No one has ever done that to me.”

It surprises him, but then a rush of infinite joy bursts in his chest. He leans forward, his cock brushing against his cheek, his hand tightening around him. “Just keep yourself upright, Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang teases with a smug smile before trailing kisses down his shaft. "I'll do the rest."

Jiang Cheng hates him for it, wished he had the nerve to control this situation but there’s something about being under his command that curls his stomach nice and warm. So he grounds himself on his feet, a hand finding support on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder. His tongue explores him, licks him, laps at the tip and traps every single droplet of pre-cum oozing out of him. He’s leaking, his cock pulsing at the rhythm of his heart and swelling impossibly hard at Nie Huaisang’s ministrations. His hand moves down to cradle his balls, nestles them gently and then leaves them be. Jiang Cheng wants this more than he’s ever wanted anything as far as he can remember. Whatever this is, whatever this means.

His mind rambles as if debating in between believing this is happening or admitting this is a dream, but it’s not. Nie Huaisang mouths at his cock as if he was starving, sucking on the side, giving a long stroke from his root to the tip. His knees tremble, and his grip on him tightens when Nie Huaisang smiles like the cat who got the cream.

It lasts a second before he opens his mouth and rounds the head of his dick with plump, spit-licked lips. Jiang Cheng groans at the soft touch of his tongue, at the heat inside his mouth, and believes it cannot get better until Nie Huaisang starts suckling around him. He drags him in and out in what seems the most bedazzling torture ever. Watching his cock disappear into his mouth might be his most favorite sight ever.

Nie Huaisang has him where he wants, where he always wanted to be: at his mercy, his cock melting into his mouth with the promise for more. Jiang Cheng is bigger than he thought, but he swallows him whole and pulls him out only to gasp for air. He loves every clear spurt that lands salty into the back of his tongue, every second of the musky scent of his body invading his nostrils. The lack of air means nothing when he has him into his mouth, into his throat, and he gags, reaching for himself desperate for relief.

Then Jiang Cheng notices the familiar movements on Nie Huaisang’s right hand. He glances down between them, avoiding for just a moment the beautiful sight of him taking his cock and finding Nie Huaisang fisting his own erection. Jiang Cheng changes his mind, Nie Huaisang pleasuring himself while sucking him is his most favorite sight.

He’s beautiful, flustered, moaning with a mouth full of his cock. Profound shame invades him at seeing him like that, lips stretched around him, his cock brushing against his tongue, in and out of the molten heat of his mouth and the sucking force menacing to leave him boneless. The air escapes him in shallow breaths, not minding anymore the shameful noises coming out of his lips.

Nie Huaisang knows he’s done for when he listens to the sweet noises coming out of him, his hand squeezing tightly his dick a tad too late. A moan reverberates in his throat, sucking and, if his mouth weren’t busy, begging for more. Hot spurts land on the back of his hand, on his thigh, and drip down his knuckles. His climax courses through him like a jolt of unfulfilled fantasies finally taking place. He would have screamed out loud if not for having him shoved deep down his throat. He feels good, better than anything he’s ever tasted, and he came so shamefully fast just by giving him pleasure.

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng breathes out his name as a plea.

Nie Huaisang strokes himself until his dick is soft and useless, pulling him out reluctantly slow. He pants, needing air more than anything, cleaning his mess on his own robe; until he meets Jiang Cheng’s desperate eyes, and he licks his lips. Nie Huaisang presses a kiss on the tip, a clear trail connecting with his bottom lip. “You taste too well, Wanyin,” he quips with a sultry smile. He takes him in his hand, strokes his spit-licked cock in a loose fist and revels in the fingers leaving crescent moon indentations on his shoulder. But feeling him in his hand is nothing like having him inside, so Nie Huaisang slides him into his mouth again, sucking even tighter around him.

“Huaisang,” Jiang Cheng moans as if his name were the only word he knew.

His heart thumps in his chest, a hand threading in long strands of onyx hair, the other loosening his grip fearful of leaving a mark behind. Although the thought enthralls him. Nie Huaisang glances at him with bedroom eyes, tilting his head up to watch him while Jiang Cheng’s self-restraint hangs from a thread. 

He attempts a thrust forward, almost unintentionally, and a moan escapes his mouth when he finds no resistance at all, only his warmth, the wet cave of his mouth, and unspeakable pleasures. Who knew the answer to his dreams was into his mouth? Nie Huaisang winds his arms around his hips and spurs him on, grabbing his butt cheeks and swaying them onward.

Jiang Cheng fears he cannot stop now, or ever, and wrinkles his eyes shut as he rocks into his heavenly mouth, feeling his tongue against his shaft, his mouth sucking and his throat swallowing every inch of him. “I’m…” he gasps. His balls draw up tightly, and his hips buck up until Nie Huaisang’s throat constricts around him. His orgasm lashes him unavoidably, and Jiang Cheng spills.

A rush of shame conquers him at every spasm, his legs wobbly and failing to ground him, his dick softening into his still wavering mouth. He’s sucking him dry, swallowing every drop of his lust as he moans and hums as if it were a treat. Jiang Cheng stumbles, but the hand on Nie Huaisang’s shoulder steadies him. “I’m sorry, I… wasn’t expecting to…” he babbles.

Jiang Cheng looks down only to realize Nie Huaisang still has his cock into his mouth and drags him out reluctantly. One more minute buried there and he would get hard again, but the moment he’s free, Jiang Cheng tucks his spent cock into his garments and arranges his sash. He cannot believe this has happened, but a quick glance at Nie Huaisang is enough to convince him otherwise.

A flustered, gorgeous creature who meets his gaze with the softest of blushes on his cheeks and a devilish grin. Nie Huaisang stands as he licks his lips, his taste sour and bitter and so perfect his cock perks up a bit. “Come to bed,” he whispers, his hands reaching for Jiang Cheng’s chest. He tugs and pries open the lapels of his upper garments, revealing skin he wants to trail in kisses, eager to feel more of him, to drown together into his bed. “Come to bed with me.” But a trembling hand stops him.

“No, I can’t,” Jiang Cheng shakes his head. If he does, he’ll see the scar on his chest, the remainder of his own mistakes, of his dark past, the full extent of his inexperience. Both of Nie Huaisang’s delicate hands fit into his own and his heart shrinks. “I can’t,” he repeats. If to convince himself or Nie Huaisang, that he doesn’t know.

“Forgive me, I never meant…” Nie Huaisang squirms out of his hold, covering himself with his robe and feeling more naked and vulnerable than when he was bare and on his knees.

“It is me who you should forgive.” Jiang Cheng cups his jaw, his thumb tracing his swollen bottom lip while he tries to overcome his weak knees. He needs to get out of there before it’s too late. “I shouldn’t have come here.” Jiang Cheng hates himself for many things he has done, but this tops them all. With a visit that shouldn’t have happened, he stole his smile and took a pleasure that he doesn’t deserve. He has nothing to give and everything to lose, and Nie Huaisang means enough to him to keep him safe from his own nightmares, his bluntness, his incapability to rejoice in what his past-self once thought he loved.

“Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang whispers, the corner of his mouth tugging upward in a sad smile.

As Jiang Cheng leaves, he worries at his lower lip, savoring the remnants of his taste, their encounter bittersweet and confusing. Perhaps he has scared him being too straight forward, perhaps he’s not even worthy of a night with Jiang Cheng. What else could have he expected? He knows him well enough to recognize the pain in his eyes. The ghosts from the past come to steal these kinds of moments from them and there is nothing he can do. At least they had this brief, futile moment together. Perhaps the only one they’ll have.

Nie Huaisang goes to find the jar he was saving up if Jiang Cheng ever came up, and he downs more than half before he collapses on his own lonely bed. His lips tingle with the taste of his desperate kisses -his lips stretch in a smile- because they were desperate; as if he truly wanted them; as if he truly wanted him. Replaying the night from the moment he saw his gaze on him to the first time he tasted the wonders of his cock, Nie Huaisang falls asleep.

The next morning, upon opening the door, Nie Huaisang finds a peony primly abandoned at his doorstep. He cocks his head as a smile returns to his lips. Was it a casual gift from the breeze? Or is there more to expect from that angry, bitter man that kisses as if he meant it and leaves as if he didn’t?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful chibi art by Sin at the end of the chapter. Don't miss it! (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

It’s pouring rain in Lanling. Right after the conference ended, Nie Huaisang took shelter in a solitary pagoda, the weather accompanying his gloomy mood in a not-so-subtle way. Not that he would let it show, but far from prying eyes, he allows himself a doleful expression as he admires the rain and hopes it clears up soon.

The untimely sprinkle surprised him on his way back to his residence, alone. He sneaked before anyone would convince him to attend the banquet, not that anyone would particularly miss the head-shaker and his pleas for help. Everyone knows he would never fit in Chifeng-zun’s shoes, he could have told them that since he discovered the art of the sword and night-hunts didn’t interest him in the least. He sighs, wishing to take refuge in a cup of tea or another heated bath. This time, sadly, without a witness.

What happened yesterday looms over him when he realizes he probably won’t hear from Jiang Cheng again. But part of him cherishes the time they spent together as the gift it was. Fleeting, inappropriate, hasty, and everything he’s ever wanted. Another deep sigh pours out of his lips, the rain intensifying and washing away his hopes of returning somehow dry to his bedchambers.

When he’s about to step outside and bear the wet and the cold, Jiang Cheng sneaks under the roof, closing a wax-paper umbrella with a snap. Nie Huaisang holds back a smile. “What are you doing here alone?” Jiang Cheng whips away the excess water from the umbrella. He meets his eyes, and he swears under the dark grey skies he can spot a subtle blush.

“Waiting for the downpour to stop,” Nie Huaisang answers, his heart warming up unexpectedly after a cold, lonely day. “Or an umbrella.” His eyes snap to Jiang Cheng’s hand, his lips stretching on a smug smile. Will he ever be immune to his presence? The mere sight of him makes him forget any grievances, any past grudges, he just drowns in the depth of his blue-sky eyes and finds his dreams in them; and a bit of lightning.

The rain tapping against the wooden ceiling fills the pregnant silence. “I’ll walk you back.” Jiang Cheng opens the umbrella with a flick of his wrist and takes one step down, offering his other hand to him.

Nie Huaisang is in no position to play hard to get, so he accepts it. His hand is warm, and gentle despite the rumors that surround Jiang Cheng. Gossiping tongues sustain Sect Leader Jiang is out of his mind, blacklisted by all the marriageable cultivators and obsessed with finding and punishing demonic cultivation. Nie Huaisang knows better than to believe such statements about his old friend, especially if they are as true as the ones he fanned about himself. 

A thunder roars high up in the skies before a flash of lightning casts weirdly shaped shadows in their faces, and, distracted as he is in his own thoughts, Nie Huaisang loses his step, missing Jiang Cheng’s hand. “Ah!” he exhales before an arm wraps around his lower back and steadies him.

Jiang Cheng clears his throat, covering them both with the handy umbrella and letting Nie Huaisang link his arm around his once again as if he wasn’t expecting just that. He hides a shy smile against the guard of his folding fan. “Some things never change,” Jiang Cheng says, smiling, his gaze lost on the path ahead. “You didn’t fake that one.”

“They don’t indeed.” Nie Huaisang blushes, watching his steps.

“You look ravishing when you blush.” Nie Huaisang glances up at him in case his ears deceived him and finds a familiar half-smile.

Why is Jiang Cheng wooing him now? Being kind, polite, and flirting to top it all when he disappeared the other night as if he regretted everything and couldn’t even stand his presence. Perhaps guilt guides his actions, and yet here he is, accepting the crumbs.

The heavy rain turns into a constant tapping over their heads, the sound more pleasant than when he was alone. Nie Huaisang hopes and wishes for it not to stop until they arrive so he can hug Jiang Cheng’s arm and huddle against him seeking warmth and comfort, and all those things he shouldn’t want from him, but he so badly does.

“I want to repay the favor,” Jiang Cheng says.

The words take a moment to sink in. “Repay me?” Nie Huaisang snorts, hiding an amused chuckle on Jiang Cheng’s upper arm. “What favor?”

Jiang Cheng’s lips press in a thin line, taking his time as if he was measuring his words. The tapping noise fills the silence, accompanied by their own steps over the stoned path. “I understand our encounter the other night requires reciprocity,” he finally says, turning his head to meet Nie Huaisang’s eyes. He’s amused, a naughty smile curling his lips, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “I lacked manners.”

Nie Huaisang breaks into a hearty chuckle. “So romantic, Wanyin,” he teases.

“Fine,” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “If you’re going to be like that, I’ll just…”

“I did you no favor,” Nie Huaisang interrupts before he finishes his threat. He squeezes his arm affectionately. “There was a time,” he lowers his voice just enough so Jiang Cheng leans over to listen, “when I would have given everything to get on my knees for you.”

Jiang Cheng swallows audibly. “Not anymore?” he croaks.

“Why should I ask for what has been served to me on a silver lining?” Nie Huaisang retorts with a sly smile. Not even the soaked hem of his robes, the importunate rain, and the tedious day of conference can ruin the way his day has skyrocketed.

They walk in silence to his residence, their strides encompassed by the weather. Lucky for them, everyone’s sheltered somewhere and seems like Jinlin tower and its intricate gardens exist just for them and the skies. Jiang Cheng sneaks a few sidelong glances, his face flushed by their unfinished conversation, but he remains silent.

Once they arrive at his doorstep and they take shelter under the threshold, Jiang Cheng closes the umbrella and stands tall, waiting for an advance on Nie Huaisang’s part. But before he can blink, Nie Huaisang doesn’t even hesitate and opens the doors, glancing at him over his shoulder.

“My room is already warmed.” A fire crackles up softly in the background.

“I… should go back if you don’t want me to...”

“I’ll warm up the bed.” A sultry smile is the last thing he sees before he leaves the umbrella leaning on the doorframe and follows him inside.

A tamed fire offers enough light while Nie Huaisang lights up a few more candles, shrugging his outer robe off and hanging it from a folding screen. Jiang Cheng watches him mesmerized, the wet ends of his hair, the way he gets rid of his boots and walks barefoot toward the small table in front of the fireplace. There’s a tray with a jar of wine and a set of cups. Either his servants are too efficient or he was prepared. Or maybe this is exactly how he wished to spend the rest of the evening, but alone.

Nie Huaisang graces him with a smile before he pours two servings of wine. “I knew it would rain today, so I arranged a hot bath and a small fire,” he says. “I always get cold on rainy days.” Jiang Cheng stays still in the middle of the room as if witnessing a scenario that feels familiar yet strange, hopeful but longing. “Come.”

First, he gets rid of the wet, muddy boots, then he inches his way toward the warmest place in the room. He sits by his side, and Nie Huaisang reaches for the cup he placed on the opposite side of the table and hands it to him. “Seems like we’re finally catching up,” he teases, and Jiang Cheng stifles a smile as he sips at the wine. “I am contented with your company,” Nie Huaisang whispers as if it were a secret. “I know yesterday I was too blunt and…”

Jiang Cheng seals his mouth with his lips, breathing in his scent, relishing in the velvety touch he has missed the whole day and didn’t let him sleep last night. Not the rushed tryst that left him with induced weak knees but his kisses, the way Nie Huaisang let him take his mouth like an entitled lover and not a failure. He failed as a son, as a brother, and he failed Nie Huaisang as a friend; as more than a friend.

“Tastes good,” Jiang Cheng whispers against his mouth, and a pink hue spreads on Nie Huaisang’s cheeks. “The wine.” He steals a smile, and a peal of laughter he hadn’t heard in many lonely years. Nie Huaisang hasn’t changed at all despite how hard he tries to hide it because he can’t hide from him.

Nie Huaisang lets out a sigh of relief. They need not ask how they’ve been. They know all too well the ordeals they’ve been through. Nie Huaisang sips at his wine instead, changes his mind and downs the first cup in one gulp and pours another. “I’ve missed you.” That’s a truth he admitted the other day, but he wants Jiang Cheng to know he means the words.

“We’ve been busy.” The corner of his mouth pulls upward in a half-smile.

“That we have,” Nie Huaisang agrees.

They drink in silence for a while, basking in the other’s company. Jiang Cheng is used to spending his nights on his own, and Nie Huaisang secludes himself with his books, his poems, and his fans to forget the outside world. Tonight, they can do it together while the world keeps going round.

Jiang Cheng removes the upper piece of his jianxiu, wearing just the thin, soft fabric of his undergarments. “It was soaking wet,” he excuses himself, tossing it aside. Ensuring Nie Huaisang was covered under the umbrella, he ignored the threads of water pouring down his shoulder.

“I am not complaining,” Nie Huaisang quips, filling up their cups. His company has always been comfortable as a blanket on a wintry day. Quiet as he is, sparse in words and smiles and laughs, and yet Nie Huaisang has managed to see them all at some point or another. Traits that, despite his tamed heart, he loves in him.

Jiang Cheng was like a once-in-a-lifetime full moon eclipsed by the sun that was Wei Wuxian, and yet without him, he cannot find his place in the world anymore. It pains him still to have seen the agony he went through, slowly losing everyone he holds dear in his life. Nie Huaisang has experienced it himself. There are some things you never overcome, you just learn to live with them. He downs the cup of wine again.

Before their reunion brings all their ghosts to the surface, Nie Huaisang leaves the empty cup on the flat surface and shifts, leaning back on the table to look at Jiang Cheng. “So, Wanyin,” he says, smiling mischievously. Jiang Cheng meets his eyes over the brim of his cup; the wine loosening up the strings that usually restrain him.

“Hm?”

Changing the subject to something he’s more comfortable with seems to lighten up the gloomy mood. “How are you going to return the favor?” Jiang Cheng chokes on his drink, coughs up and turns beet red. Nie Huaisang lets out a hearty chuckle. “Oh, Wanyin…” But the deepest blue meets his gaze, and his heart lurches.

“How should I?” Jiang Cheng asks, meaning every word.

Nie Huaisang’s smile widens. “What did you have in mind?” A folding fan has found its way to his hands, and Nie Huaisang fidgets with it. Delicate, slender fingers caress the guards and the tassel that hangs from it in the shape of the Qinghe Nie Sect motif.

Jiang Cheng’s breath seizes in his chest. “I-I…” he stutters.

He cannot say he hasn’t thought about it because he has; countless times today, even more last night as he pleasured himself to exhaustion in the safety of his sheets. He came with his name on his lips, pretending his spit-soaked fist was his mouth. Jiang Cheng wanted to feel him again and also bring the same pleasure to Nie Huaisang. He wanted to be responsible for those sweet noises and the satisfying orgasm he witnessed. Needs he hadn’t had before and that only Nie Huaisang can fulfill.

His experience is limited, to say the least. Fellow women cultivators are too complicated, and he was never attracted to any man besides Nie Huaisang. It’s been a lonely fifteen years in which he overlooked his need to keep his bed warm with lovers, and the times he tried, he regretted it before things got out of hand. Something was always off or wrong when with him, everything feels terrifyingly right.

Jiang Cheng’s life was complicated, always been, and despite the power he has amassed throughout the years, he hasn’t found a partner. He had more important things to consider: Jin Ling, his sect, rebuilding Lotus Pier, uplifting his father’s legacy to what it was before as if that would make his late parents proud. That’s all he needed. With a purpose, waking up alone and going to bed in solitude was bearable. Jiang Cheng needed no lovers, no quarrels, no pleasures beyond his responsibilities. Enjoying life was like betraying the family that couldn’t be there with him.

Until he saw Nie Huaisang again, and he reminded him of a long lost love; of hope and want, and desire and Jiang Cheng answered to the call with many year’s worth of restraint over his shoulders; fifteen years since their first and also last kiss, the only kiss he gave, the only he has ever wanted to give, steal, or receive. Until last night.

But how to confess all of that when Nie Huaisang seems well versed in the art of love? “I thought you could… help me with that?” Jiang Cheng says, his eyes pleading for guidance. 

A man so proud asking him to lead the advances melt his heart. Nie Huaisang graces him with a soft smile, putting the fan aside. “Come closer.”

Jiang Cheng moves until their thighs touch, combing his hair away from his face, his knuckles trailing down his neck, his thumb caressing his heated cheek. He realizes while he basks in the beauty of his features that Nie Huaisang looks at him in a daze.

“Give us a kiss,” he whispers.

It’s not as urgent as the one from yesterday. Jiang Cheng leans into his mouth and breathes in before he follows his wish. It is as though he had found a sudden shyness in his actions without dropping a notch of desire. Nie Huaisang notes it in the way his lips hug his mouth; in the way his tongue swipes against his lips, parting them, and ventures inside for more. Nie Huaisang moans from sheer pleasure just for this teenage, leashed kiss.

Jiang Cheng is so different from his other lovers who exist to please him and then they’re gone, never lingering in his bed, never promising the world as Jiang Cheng kisses do. This is heaven, a fantasy only him can materialize. He melts into his mouth, his hand wringing his garments on his lap. Jiang Cheng’s hand strokes the side of his neck as he explores his mouth like an entitled lover. He scoots even closer, making Nie Huaisang want to slide into his lap and make himself at home there.

“Why is kissing you so pleasant?” he breathes out into his mouth.

“Why do you stop then?” Nie Huaisang teases with a naughty smile. If he could stop time, he would live in this precise moment a thousand years before letting go.

Jiang Cheng cups his face, sparing tender kisses on his swollen lips. He huddles against him, a hand tilting his head right into his mouth, the other spread on the floor beside his own. His thumb traces circles on the back of his hand, not daring to do more, and it sends a frisson through Nie Huaisang’s spine. This is a kind of pleasure he has never experienced. Is this how it feels to be weak? Owned? Conquered and defeated by a man that seems to want him above anything else. Nie Huaisang is angry at himself, he thought he was stronger, more determined, and he’s about to cry his heart out while Jiang Cheng feasts on his mouth. How long will this fleeting tryst last before the world swallows them whole?

The innocent kiss lasts less than he expected. Jiang Cheng dives into his mouth until he’s out of breath, but his hand fondles up and down his thigh, squeezing, feeling the tender flesh underneath. He pulls back to gasp for air and comes back to drink more of his whining mouth. His thigh is firm against his hand, and he hates the garments that cover him but doesn’t dare to rip them off just like that.

His eagerness wins the battle, and Jiang Cheng roves up his inner thigh until his hand bumps into his length. His cock pokes through his garments, his own strained into his trousers. “You can touch me if you want,” Nie Huaisang mumbles against his mouth, his hands hustling to pry open his robes, leaving an open path to follow down his navel.

Jiang Cheng’s gaze moves down the slit of creamy skin, following his chest down with his knuckles. Nie Huaisang flinches, worrying at his lower lip. “I’ve never…” Jiang Cheng is tired of himself whenever he tries to excuse his hesitation with his inexperience. He doesn’t want to second-guess himself while touching Nie Huaisang, and yet he knows nothing about how to pleasure him except to offer himself bare.

“Well you sure have touched yourself, Wanyin,” he teases, finding his lips for a quick peck.

Jiang Cheng turns a new shade of red, but his hand sneaks inside the layers of clothes and promptly finds a shy, hard cock waiting for him. Nie Huaisang gasps when he envelopes him in a tight fist, the garments sliding open as Jiang Cheng strokes him up and down how he’d do to himself in a lonely night. Starting slow, his thumb brushing the underside instead, but following his shaft from hilt to tip.

His skin flushes in pink, his mouth parting in shallow breaths. With his other hand, Jiang Cheng removes the collars of his garments until they drape down one shoulder and kisses him on the crook of his neck. “Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang gasps, his hand moving to his wrist to encourage the movements of his hand. Just feeling its warmth, the callous texture of his palm, the intent in which he caresses him as if he wanted to learn every ridge and every vein by heart. _ Please, do_.

Jiang Cheng bites him, a firm clench of his teeth. “Ah,” Nie Huaisang moans from the back of his throat, regretting it the moment Jiang Cheng halts and lands a kiss on his skin instead. “Do it again,” he whispers, “harder.” His lover complies, gritting his teeth, nibbling and sucking until he’s sure he left a mark behind. On his peerless skin, on Nie Huaisang, on the sole object of his late awakening.

Guided by his own sexual frustration, Jiang Cheng strokes him until his name comes out in labored breaths until his lips are swollen from traveling between his mouth and his neck; until his untouched cock pulses at the rhythm of his heart. Nie Huaisang writhes under his touch, leaking down his knuckles, easing the way for more long, tight strokes of his fist. He’s melting into his hand, into his mouth, so beautifully blushed Jiang Cheng fears to spill just by the enrapturing sight. But he wants more.

“I want you naked,” he blurts out, his cheeks igniting at how blatantly he expressed his desires. “I want to take you to bed.”

Nie Huaisang stifles a smile and nods. “Please, Wanyin.”

Faster than the lightning bolts that occasionally illuminate the room, Jiang Cheng stands and drags him up with him. He lifts him, an arm underneath his knees, the other below his upper back. Nie Huaisang gasps when he finds himself in the arms of the man he always craved, loved, and hated for disappearing. Then he chuckles, hiding in the crook of his neck and inhaling Jiang Cheng’s musky scent.

“What is so funny?” Jiang Cheng frowns.

“How often is life kind with poor souls like us?” he says. “Offering exactly what we want.” _ Only to t__ake it from us __after_, he wonders. Jiang Cheng’s face relaxes in a half-smile.

He places Nie Huaisang on the edge of the wooden bed and drops to his knees, glancing up at him with lustful eyes. “I want to taste you like you tasted me,” he says, and Nie Huaisang bites back a shameful moan.

Trembling hands finish undoing his garments, and then he shrugs them off. They pool at both sides of his body, out of the way of love, and he presents nude and bare to Jiang Cheng once more. There’s no shame in his actions, but he’s flustered by the kissing and the touching. The warmth of his presence reaches his cold, hidden heart in ways he never thought possible anymore.

“You have always been beautiful,” Jiang Cheng says, ensconcing himself in between his legs, nudging them further apart. His hand wraps around him, his eyes missing nothing of how his face twists in a grimace of pleasure. A loud moan escapes him when Jiang Cheng tugs at his cock, clear droplets oozing out of the tip. “Softer?” His eyebrows knit together.

“No,” Nie Huaisang shakes his head, a coy smile finding its way to his lips. “Your hand is so warm, feels good.” Jiang Cheng seems mesmerized by his own doing, scrutinizing his every response, exploring with new touches, softer, tighter, faster. Nie Huaisang’s breath hitches in his chest. Perhaps Jiang Cheng is still clouded by doubts, believing he’s not ready for this, for them together like this. “You don’t have to,” he mumbles, meeting those blue eyes that seem black now. “I could… take care of you again.”

“I want to.” Jiang Cheng’s lips curl in a smug smile as if he had discovered that exploring his body equals to Nie Huaisang’s pleasure. “I am settling my debt.” A chortle resounds in the bedroom, but soon a moan replaces it. If Jiang Cheng keeps teasing him like this, Nie Huaisang will combust on his own mattress just by that deft hand that gains confidence at every stroke.

“There is another way you can pleasure me,” Nie Huaisang says in a sultry voice. Jiang Cheng’s attention shifts to him, curious eyes wide open. “Give me your hand.” Nie Huaisang scoots closer to the edge, grasping Jiang Cheng’s wrist as he slides his fore and middle finger into his mouth. He soaks them in his saliva, his tongue twirling around them teasingly. He bets Jiang Cheng’s cock is swelling by the memory of his tongue on him, the thought encouraging him to get dirtier. His leg lifts and slides over his shoulder, and Jiang Cheng caresses his shin, eyes brimming with lust as he watches Nie Huaisang drenching his fingers and putting up a show while doing it. He pushes his fingertips against his tongue, rubs the muscle while his cock twitches inside his garments.

Mesmerized by the creature before him, Jiang Cheng thanks the sturdy floor as he anchors his trembling knees on it. He’s undeserving of Nie Huaisang, too inexperienced to pleasure him how he deserves, but Jiang Cheng was never the one to wimp out the impossible.

Nie Huaisang drags his fingers out until a clear trail connects them with his bottom lip. “Up my hole, one first and when you feel like you can, add the other.”

Jiang Cheng swallows at the hottest request anyone has ever asked from him. Shy eyes glance down in front of him, Nie Huaisang leaning on his elbows and spreading his leg wider. There it is, tight and pink. His fingers brush gingerly on the sensitive skin and Nie Huaisang whimpers. Jiang Cheng hugs his thigh for support, digging his fingers into his flesh, and slides a spit-licked finger into his ass.

His jaw drops at the sweet moan that comes out of his lips, at the tight heat enveloping his finger and promising a new world of experiences. “In and out, Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang purrs, and fitting into a dutiful lover's role, Jiang Cheng complies.

While he’s at it, he stares at Nie Huaisang’s cock with starving eyes. Jiang Cheng leans forward, licking his shaft and savoring for the first time the luscious taste of sex. He looks up to meet his eyes; a beautiful, bedroom gaze that stares back at him in disbelief. In a rush of bravery, Jiang Cheng runs his tongue from his balls to his oozing tip, his finger suddenly trapped tighter than before.

“Do you like this?” Jiang Cheng murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses on his length.

If he likes it! Nie Huaisang stifles a bitter laugh that would hurt Jiang Cheng’s pride, and braces himself single-handedly on the bed, the other tilting his cock in the right angle to brush Jiang Cheng’s plump lips. “Take me in your mouth,” he says with a sultry smile.

A command hard to refuse, so Jiang Cheng parts his mouth and swipes his tongue over the clear droplet at the tip. Delicious and salty, he does it again, wrapping his lips around the head and licking at him with no shame despite his red cheeks. Nie Huaisang’s breath comes out as inaudible whines whenever he sucks, licks or circles his tongue around the tip. His finger stills inside him, and although he struggles to do both at the same time, he tries and succeeds.

“You are a tease,” Nie Huaisang breathes out with a smile. He’s fumbling at the verge of his climax; the kissing, the touching, that relentless tongue, and that also curious finger, but he holds on to this moment, wringing the bedding and stopping himself from letting go. He’s enjoying every hum of pleasure Jiang Cheng obliviously produces, his flustered cheeks, his inexpert determination. This is the first time for him, and he prays to the heavens that it isn’t the last.

All of a sudden, Jiang Cheng slurps him out. “How did you…” He frowns as if gauging his words.

“Yes?” Nie Huaisang crooks an eyebrow at him.

“How did you take me so deeply yesterday?” Jiang Cheng may hide his shyness in a deep voice, but not in the color of his cheeks.

“Practice and determination,” Nie Huaisang retorts, his fingers stroking his hilt up and down because he’s aching to experience more of him. Jiang Cheng’s eyebrows knit adorably, and for a moment, he’d say he’s jealous.

Jiang Cheng is. An unjustified pang of jealousy courses through him, makes him angry at himself for not claiming Nie Huaisang when he could, furious at him for not waiting and finding relief on other lovers. Every man Nie Huaisang has touched, loved, fucked, or got on his knees for, Jiang Cheng would whip their skin off with Zidian in a burst of anger. But what can he do now? 

“Wanyin, you sure know what you like yourself, use that to your advantage,” Nie Huaisang says, bringing him back to the present. “I want more of your mouth,” he tries to smile all shy while worrying at his lower lip but it comes out sly, “please.”

Unfolding his arm from his thigh, Jiang Cheng pats Nie Huaisang’s hand away, taking his cock for a tight pull and his finger for a deep thrust. His hole is tender now, he can feel it, so Jiang Cheng spits into the fingers that were so carefully prepared in Nie Huaisang’s mouth and slides them both inside him. Nie Huaisang’s legs spread at the intrusion, the one on his shoulder almost slipping down. “Yes,” he moans from the back of his throat. He’s tight again, his fingers trapped for a moment before he’s able to glide them in and out.

Jiang Cheng closes his lips around his girth and slides him in until he brushes his own knuckles. Then he sucks as Nie Huaisang did to him hoping it is as good for him. He keeps him there, warm, wet, his tongue brushing against the underside, his lips tightening around him. “You feel so good, Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang encourages, bracing himself back with both arms, his eyes missing nothing of Jiang Cheng’s doing.

Nie Huaisang cannot lie to himself and pretend he hasn’t dreamed of this, fantasized of Jiang Cheng on his knees dedicated to his pleasure alone. He plotted to torture him, to deny him of his own pleasure as he overpowered him. Not at all like his real self, but it was a wet dream after all. A sly smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, his hand reaching out to cradle Jiang Cheng’s head. He traces the braid on a side, his fingertips trying to thread into his hair. Nie Huaisang is not so sure now who’s overpowering who.

Moving his fingers in and out of his hole, Jiang Cheng notes how the muscle yields and softens, and what seemed a nigh-unbearable tightness is a welcoming, tender entrance he wishes to explore with more parts of himself. His own cock jerks into his trousers, the shifting of the fabric offering a pitiful relief. It doesn’t matter, not now, not when he only knows of him, and the hard dick in his mouth. He curls his fingertips upward and drags them out slowly, feeling him, wanting to learn and know more.

Nie Huaisang trembles as a whole-body shudder shakes him, a loud moan filling up the room. His cock shoots a spurt on his tongue and Jiang Cheng swallows around it with newly acquired impatience. It wasn’t his release, Nie Huaisang is still rock hard against his tongue.

“Do that again,” he whimpers in a quick breath.

Jiang Cheng hollows his cheeks and pushes his fingers inside him, curling them deliciously right on his way out. It’s a mere brush of his fingertips, but Nie Huaisang thrashes his head back, moaning again, heat pooling at his groin, his climax urging him to let go. His lips are swollen by his own bites, scrutinizing Jiang Cheng behind hooded lids. Eyes closed, his lips plump and red around his girth, his mouth wavering around his cock. “I’m going to…” Nie Huaisang mumbles, lost in the sight, in the pleasure unleashing and tightening his balls. “Wanyin,” he warns, so he can back off if he doesn’t want a mouthful.

Jiang Cheng sucks him out with a wet noise, his hand picking up his pace as he strokes him in a loose fist. He swoons in delight at the beauty writhing and bucking up his hips to get more. He speeds up his movements, strokes him faster, his fingers shoved inside him to the second knuckle and pushing up to find again the lucky spot that seems to make Nie Huaisang see stars behind his eyes.

He’s so beautiful, yielding under his touch, his countenance twisting in pleasure as his orgasm overrides him in the most ravishing way. His name pours out of his lips in a gasp, his body tensing for a heartbeat before his hole tightens around his fingers and his cock paints his chest in pearlescent stripes. His whole face is pink, the watercolor hue spreading down his neck and shoulders.

The corner of his mouth pulls upward in a half-smile. He did it, he drove him to his climax, his cock softening in his hand, his chest rising and falling in laborious breaths. He strokes him through it as he would do to himself until his eyebrows knit in discomfort and one last white spurt drips down his knuckles. Jiang Cheng cannot help himself, he withdraws his fingers from the fluttering trap and lets his tongue out to taste him.

He collects the bitter nectar with greediness, licking his own fingers until the tip meets soft, sensitive skin and Nie Huaisang whimpers. Their gazes meet, full bloom irises stare into Nie Huaisang’s longing eyes. “I said I wanted to taste you.” As if he needed an excuse, his tongue resuming the gentle swipes over his knuckles until they’re licked clean and Nie Huaisang blushes brighter than a red peony and as rare and valuable. “Have I settled my debt?” Jiang Cheng teases, clearly pleased with himself.

“Come up here,” Nie Huaisang says, his voice unwavering. Jiang Cheng stands between his spread knees and Nie Huaisang hustles to pry open his lower garments until a heavy, thick cock rests against his palm. But then he glances up at him with a mischievous smile. “Touch yourself,” he purrs.

“In front of you?” Jiang Cheng’s stomach flips. Somehow having his way with his mouth and returning the favor seems less intimate than touching himself for Nie Huaisang’s.

“Yes.” Nie Huaisang arches an eyebrow at him. “You watched me yesterday.”

Jiang Cheng hugs his cock tightly into his hand and strokes himself, a familiar heat on his face, his gaze getting lost in Nie Huaisang’s creamy skin to avoid those piercing eyes. His hand finds his shoulder as it did the other night, his thumb following back and forth the ridge of his collarbone. “I know you like me watching you,” Nie Huaisang says, wetting his lips as if the sight of his cock had made him hungry.

Nie Huaisang leans forward, parting his lips as they brush on the tip. He laps the leaking trail, moaning from the back of his throat. His eyes are on him, his hand pumping his cock mercilessly fast. At every swipe of his tongue Nie Huaisang watches in awe how Jiang Cheng’s gaze darkens, how his hand squeezes his shoulder out of sheer desperation. He’s offering him his mouth for him to thrust his cock there and Jiang Cheng isn’t taking it.

If Jiang Cheng dared, he would slide inside him without shame, but those golden eyes stare at him, they brim with smugness, satisfaction, and lust, and he’s lost. At the sight of those velvety pinkish lips rounding on the head of his cock, his balls draw up tightly. Isn’t this the same landscape that sent him over the age last night more times than he’s proud of? Jiang Cheng lets out a hoarse cry as his climax washes over him like tonight’s downpour: unexpected yet foreseeable.

A thick spurt lands on Nie Huaisang’s bottom lip and chin, and out of embarrassment, Jiang Cheng aims the rest of his release down his chest, his legs failing to ground him, his grip leaving bruises in the shape of his fingertips on his shoulder. “Huaisang,” he mumbles, “I never meant...” The aftershocks of his orgasm still course through him, but Jiang Cheng reaches for the basin near the bed and the clean cloth that awaits by its side.

But when he turns to Nie Huaisang, the knuckle of his forefinger wipes the cum from his chin and lip and slides it into his mouth. “This is mine,” he says with a smile before latching on it.

Jiang Cheng swallows as he watches him, his cock perking up at how lewd he is and how much he wants him even after their encounter is over. Nie Huaisang is definitely the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, and he’s quickly climbing other ranks. He’s sweet when he has to, silly or so he remembers, sensual and intriguing, his laugh could clear up a stormy sky, and a kiss would fade a bad day away. He clears his throat and closes his jaw before he drools all over himself and goes to clean Nie Huaisang’s stomach from their mingled lusts.

“I didn’t mean to do that,” Jiang Cheng says, an adorable guiltiness in his voice as he sits by his side and arranges his clothes back in place. His breath has come back to normal, but not his hammering heart. “I should…”

“But I meant for you to do exactly that,” Nie Huaisang retorts, interrupting his farewell. He needs not look at him to realize Jiang Cheng wants to leave. Perhaps this is too new for him, too foreign, and lying like lovers is something entirely different from this easy game of sexual gratification. “Stay?”

Jiang Cheng sighs. “I can’t.” _ Because if I stay, I’ll cling to you all night, I’ll bathe you in kisses and drown in your body until you _ _ smell _ _ of me, until all you know it’s me. _ He swallows a lump in his throat and the bundle of words that never come out. “I can’t.” _ I can’t have you, I can’t want you because I can’t afford to lose you as I lost everyone else. _

He stands and fetches his now dried upper garments, glancing at Nie Huaisang as he throws a robe over his shoulders. Nie Huaisang smiles at him. “If you feel like getting into another debt…” he trails off while Jiang Cheng gets closer. He needs but a few words to change his heart, but will they exist as whatever this is without detriment to both? Can they really take this for what it is, a night of mutual pleasure, or can they hope for more? Nie Huaisang surely does. “We could do so much more.”

“I’m not… I haven’t....” Jiang Cheng clicks his tongue, still in a daze. He strokes his cheek with his knuckles as if asking for forgiveness. Nie Huaisang wishes were always a mystery to him, and this is no different.

“Get some rest.” Nie Huaisang sees him off without uttering another word. He won’t beg, he won’t chase him, he won’t ask for anything Jiang Cheng won’t give freely; not anymore.

It has stopped raining, and as he watches Jiang Cheng’s tall figure tear through the darkness of the night, he wonders why does he run away from him every single time. Perhaps he got what he wanted after all, and as usual, he’s the only gullible soul in this. “You will be my undoing, Wanyin,” he murmurs, noting Jiang Cheng’s umbrella leaning against his doorstep. But he swallows back his sorrow and slides into bed alone.

After a quick bath and a change of clothes into his sleeping undergarments, Jiang Cheng lies on his bed and stares at the wooden ceiling. His sheets are full of dread and loneliness once more when he was promised a warm body by his side. Nightmares crawl up his skin even awake. Not just anybody or a lover’s company but Nie Huaisang’s.

He’s angry at himself; at the world for not offering the calming sounds of the ponds of Lotus Pier, but he’s particularly mad at his cowardice. Whatever he feels tonight, it has more to do with whom he was before the world crumbled under his feet; with a teenage kid deeply in love and deeply ashamed of emotions. He was brought up to ignore or overcome them. He’s so tired of who he is when Nie Huaisang reminds him of who he can be; who he was. A good friend, a good lover, a pleasant company… someone’s everything. There’s warmth in his heart besides the one he saves for his own family, a love so different and changing, at times sizzling hot then tamed and cozy as the one that swells his heart now.

Jiang Cheng springs out of bed and into the cold night without giving a second thought to his actions. What is there to think? He knows what he wants, and he’s going to take it. As if he were invited, he opens the doors to Nie Huaisang’s chambers without a warning. A single candle paints his figure against the shadows of the night.

“Who is it?” Nie Huaisang straightens on the bed, the sheets draping down his bare shoulder. His voice wavers with an unknown fear and it shrinks his heart to have startled him like this. What could he fear in the safety of Lanling?

Jiang Cheng steps into the light. “It’s me.” Nie Huaisang beams at him, patting the bed by his side. He takes up the invitation and slides beside him, arms winding around his waist, legs tangling in an inescapable embrace. He buries his nose in the crook of his neck, his hair tickling his nose. Nie Huaisang smells like home, and his lips taste like recently shed tears. “Is it my fault?” Jiang Cheng mumbles against his mouth. Nie Huaisang shakes his head. “I can leave if you don’t want me here.”

Nie Huaisang snuggles against him, clinging to his undergarments. “Stay. Hold me.”

Jiang Cheng obeys, his hands traveling up and down silky, creamy skin. “Do you always sleep naked?” he whispers, his cheeks flushing in pink.

Nie Huaisang hides his smile in the safety of his chest. “Hold me tighter, I’m cold.” Despite his mind warning him not to speak, Nie Huaisang needs to know why is he here, why couldn’t he stay before and why can he hold him like this now. “What changed your heart?” he mumbles.

“You weren’t in my bed.” What else can he say? He’s not ready to look at his own heart yet, he’s not sure the trembling man in his arms is ready for the ocean of love he has found because of him. Nie Huaisang presses a kiss on his chest and notes how Jiang Cheng stiffens under his lips, but then he relaxes, kissing the crown of his head and exhaling a deep breath as they entangle like lovers that haven’t seen each other in years. Because they haven’t; because they didn’t know but they do now.

“Now you’re in mine,” Nie Huaisang whispers with a smile. This could last a night or a thousand, but what matters tonight is that he’s with him. He stayed, and Nie Huaisang fears he cannot let go of their distant teenage dreams even though his future paints nightmarish and full of intrigues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiang Cheng came back to Nie Huaisang's bed making an entrance, what a surprise! xDDDD I was so upset at him when he left that I *almost* made it rain again so he would have to run back to Nie Huaisang without his umbrella! It would have served him right.... but I love a desperate man who realizes he's been an ass because deep inside, he's a hopeless romantic xD Σ(*ﾉ´>ω<｡`)ﾉ
> 
> As promised! I'm sure you've already seen it, but Sin drew chibi sangcheng under an umbrella for this chapter while it was in the making. [ Check the Tweet!](https://twitter.com/sinenceq/status/1184907764209979392) Thank you so much!! ٩(♡ε♡ )۶ I love them, they're perfect, your chibis are so cute and thank you again for taking the time to do that for me <333
> 
> The last chapter will be up next Saturday╭(♡･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ It's 10k long (I'm so sorry xDD)  
See y'all then! ~ヾ ＾∇＾


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: This is 10k long because apparently, I can't control myself lol (灬º 艸º灬)

The chirping of the birds awakens Nie Huaisang, eyes fluttering open to the brightness invading his bedchamber. Shy fingertips ghost over the empty space that Jiang Cheng has left. Was it a dream or did he really curled around him in his sleep? This has been one of the most pleasant nights for as long as he can remember; no nightmares to wake him up in the middle of the night, no gloomy thoughts upon opening his eyes, just the lingering warmth of Jiang Cheng comforting his soul and enamoring his heart.

His lover must have left before the sun rose, but his scent is embedded in the sheets and way deeper under his skin. Nie Huaisang rolls to the side, smiles as he catches a glimpse of him in his bed. They only have one more night here and who knows what will be of him after; of them.

His nose bumps into velvety petals, into a familiar and almost sought-after scent from Jinlin Tower. Nie Huaisang opens his eyes to a white peony, cradles it in his palm and knows it’s a gift from him. Why did he run away from his bed after comforting him the whole night? It doesn't matter, Nie Huaisang promises to himself that he’ll drag him right back in for their last night together.

The delicate flower dances in between his fingers, his scent sweet, and heady like the memories of last night. Unsurprisingly, what he craves is not the sex, the pleasure, those blue-sky eyes brimming with a desire beyond what he’s known from any lover; what has Nie Huaisang enamored again are his kisses, those truthful, coy kisses in the drowsy embrace of sleep. “Wanyin…” he breathes out his name in a smile. Hopeful, wishful, his mind scheming how to snatch him again for a night or… “Forever.”

Jiang Cheng escaped Nie Huaisang’s guest residence before dawn, disentangling himself from his lover with a heavy heart while reluctance guided his actions. They slept together, snuggling and sharing soft kisses more than useless words. His hands explored his body with no other purpose than learning the softness of his skin and the tenderness of his flesh. He witnessed in awe how Nie Huaisang fell asleep, his body seeking comfort up against him, his subtle snoring bringing a smile to his lips. A sight to behold; a sight he could get used to.

He got little sleep, spending hours watching Nie Huaisang under the dim light of a candle rather than closing his eyes to rest. But with the lack of sleep the doubts came, questions that arose in the silence of the night and crawled up his spine. Before they would ruin Nie Huaisang’s morning, he fled, but not without leaving a token behind.

After years of swearing he would never build a family or get close to anyone out of sheer fear, Jiang Cheng wonders what are they now. Have they picked up their teenage love right where they left it years ago? Has a fleeting but intense encounter rekindled years of want and longing? If what they have is a tryst or more, it’s too soon to tell, but Jiang Cheng worries he can never slide into an empty bed without the promise of his body against him. And it terrifies him.

Love is a stretched term he was never good at. He was sure he loved Wei Wuxian, but did it translate in his life? Jiang Cheng knows what he felt for Nie Huaisang back then was love, but is this lust? love? both? His rambling mind is only appeased by his kisses and the comfort of his presence because only when he looks into his eyes, Nie Huaisang sees through him and his doubts vanish like a dream you can’t quite remember upon waking up. Whatever the answers are, he’ll find them in Nie Huaisang.

The next-to-last day of the conference went by in between surreptitious sidelong glances and words left unspoken. Nie Huaisang paid him no more attention than usual, yawning and fanning himself languidly during the conference as if he cared nothing at all. With the same handy fan, he sneaked smiles at him, sweet and sultry, promising the entire world. Jiang Cheng’s face heated at every unneeded touch on his forearm, his shoulder, a gentle brush here or the unexpected gift of his closeness there.

It exasperates him how he pretends to be oblivious to the cultivation world, laughing off the rumors about him, the head-shaker, the good-for-nothing who is burying Chifeng-zun’s sect into a pit of shame. The Qinghe Nie Sect is not what it used to be, and while others thrive, Nie Huaisang’s sect diminishes and he seems not to care. He relies on Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun to solve his problems for him, and Jiang Cheng wonders if Nie Huaisang ever considered coming to him for help.

With a warming sun washing away last night’s downpour, Jiang Cheng couldn’t avoid attending the feast since it would be the last before he returns to Yunmeng. The thought brought a certain calmness to his soul, but it also churned his stomach when he realized Nie Huaisang won’t be there and that he might have to face his empty bed on his own. Those were his thoughts, his eyes perusing over the place in search of his beautiful features in hopes they would comfort his soul. His search turned out to be futile until Nie Huaisang sat by his side with a sigh, his floral scent invading him and awakening his most basic instincts. 

As he saunters the gardens of Jinlin Tower, he remembers how Nie Huaisang teased him during the banquet; leaning against him, his hand touching his knee underneath the table, his pinky finger brushing gingerly the back of his hand. Nie Huaisang sneaked more smirks and smiles, and whenever he sipped at his wine and flicked his tongue over his lips a vivid image painted in his mind. He choked on his food twice, but everyone blamed the wine for his red cheeks and slurred conversation. Who would suspect the living temptation sitting by his side and arousing him with his presence and his discreet ministrations?

Jiang Cheng had to escape a polite conversation with Zewu-jun and Hanguang-jun. The latter rarely attends conferences nowadays, remains as proper and collected as he remembers. When they coincide, he thinks about Wei Wuxian, and if he dared to guess, he’d say Lan Wangji has him in his mind too. But he had no time for more social mingling, he was searching for Nie Huaisang, intending to share a surreptitious glance, an indication of what he expected tonight, of what’s coming. Maybe sneak a kiss in the gardens or whatever foolish thing that would press their mouths together. Nothing, Nie Huaisang disappeared, and no one seemed to mind his absence except for him. But Jiang Cheng knows all too well where to find him. 

Despite his racing heart and his eagerness, he knocks on the doorframe of his residence and waits, unlike last night. A sensual smile beams at him when a barely dressed Nie Huaisang opens the door. A see-through cream robe hides nothing from him, not the straight line of his waist nor the pinkish circle of his nipples. Lightning bolt cackles in his eyes and Jiang Cheng steps inside, winding his arms around his waist and closing the door with a blast of spiritual energy.

“I’ve been wanting this all day,” he mumbles, burying his face in the crook of his neck, the black sea of his hair caressing his nose, his scent invading his nostrils. “You’ve been avoiding me when I wanted to catch you alone.” His clear laugh fills him like a balm.

“Perhaps you shouldn’t have escaped my bed so soon in the morning…” Nie Huaisang teases with a chuckle, winding his arms around his neck, and standing on his tiptoes. He relishes in the nigh unbearable heat that emanates from him. What a strange moment in time and space in which they are together not minding anything else. Is this their last chance or will it slip in between their fingers once more?

Jiang Cheng pulls him into a heated kiss that has nothing of shy or tamed. He glides his tongue inside his mouth to taste him after a whole day craving to do it. His hands roam freely over his body, following the sinuous curve of his spine until he cups his buttocks while he devours his mouth. In between kisses and muffled chuckles, Jiang Cheng lifts him in his arms and takes him to the bed, tackling him against the mattress, his clothes standing uncomfortably between them.

His flimsy robe is barely hanging together, a slit of creamy skin flushed by a recent bath tempting Jiang Cheng to lean his mouth on him. He smells of flowers, of peonies and sweet dreams. “What has gotten into you?” Nie Huaisang asks with a sly smile, meaning every teasing touch, sidelong glance, or surreptitious caress he offered during the day. 

“As if you didn’t know,” Jiang Cheng mumbles, dragging his lips over his chest until he finds a perked nipple. His hands tug at the collars of his robe, his mouth closing around it and suckling until Nie Huaisang moans. Jiang Cheng’s stomach flips because this feels like falling but up to the sky and into a long-forgotten joy. He takes a quick recess to meet his golden eyes and relish in the pink hue spreading on his cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about us.”

“Have you?” Nie Huaisang smiles so widely his cheeks hurt.

“You said we could do so much more.” Jiang Cheng crawls up his body, kissing his way from his nip to his throat until he finds plump, parted lips that smile back at him.

“Do you want to be inside me, Wanyin?” Nie Huaisang gasps into his mouth. His hands sneak underneath his body and the bed, squeezing his buttocks as he groans from the back of his throat. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes, but I’ve…” Jiang Cheng frowns, “but I’ve never lain with...”

Nie Huaisang smiles. If Jiang Cheng hasn’t been with a man before, all the better for him, what he lacks in experience, he makes up for in eagerness. “I see,” he says, fingertips tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

“Is that an issue?” 

Nie Huaisang shakes his head adorably, easing his worries away. “Let’s get you undressed.” He rolls over him, shrugging his robe off and letting it drape down his shoulders. As he straddles him, Nie Huaisang notes how Jiang Cheng blushes and how his hands find their way to his thighs. His gaze is lost on his softened cock, on his body unveiled to his attentions and his alone. The garment flutters in the air and pools unceremoniously on the floor. His long hair drapes down one shoulder while his hands thread in Jiang Cheng’s jianxiu.

But he holds his hands to stop him. 

Jiang Cheng dreads to see the disgust on his face, the horror at seeing the ever-present scar on his chest. The mark of how he failed and lost everything, the constant reminder of another life, how he couldn’t protect his loved ones; of everything he lost, his family, his golden core, and all his teenage dreams. The sooner the better. Jiang Cheng undoes his upper garments while Nie Huaisang unfolds his sash, but all his actions and his smile waver when the pink, horizontal mark is on his line of sight. Jiang Cheng averts his gaze. “That’s from… when I…” he mutters. He never thought he’d be explaining this to anyone since he can pretend it doesn’t exist unless it catches his eye.

But then soft lips press on his heart in a myriad of kisses that bring teary eyes to his gaze. Nie Huaisang traces his scar with his fingertips, with his kissing lips as if they were just the first of many more. He tilts his head up to look at him, his hand cupping his jaw. “You’re beautiful,” he says.

“But…”

Nie Huaisang shushes him, covering his mouth with his fingers. “It doesn’t matter now.” He presses another kiss on the jarring scar marring Jiang Cheng’s muscled chest with its presence.

“It’ll never fade.”

“Some wounds never do, but it doesn’t make us any less,” Nie Huaisang quips, sneaking his hands underneath his clothes, molding his shoulders and removing his upper garments. He aches to admire him whole and bare, to touch the warmth of his skin and feel the thumping of his heart in his palms.

“What if they’re still bleeding?”

The unknown reasons of why the scar exists break his heart. Who knows what he has gone through besides the well-known tale of a burning Lotus Pier and a family lost to war? “I’ll make them stop,” he whispers, “I’ll heal them all.” Jiang Cheng straightens, tossing his clothes aside before he crashes his mouth against Nie Huaisang’s. He rolls them over, pinning him against the mattress.

“Guide me,” he mumbles against his mouth, teasing fingertips sneaking underneath his trousers. He toes his boots off and kicks them out of the bed. His lower garments follow as Jiang Cheng shimmies them off with the help of Nie Huaisang who pushes them down using the balls of his feet as he moans into his mouth for more breathless kisses. 

Until they’re skin against skin; nothing to ruin the mood, not their pasts, not their clothes, not the friends they shared and now are gone. Nie Huaisang wraps arms and legs around him as if the gesture would prevent Jiang Cheng from running away from his bed. He arches into his body, his hard length pressing against his stomach, his own awakening by a teenage rut that comes fifteen years too late.

“You could share your bed with anyone,” Nie Huaisang says, taking a much-needed intake of air. His hands undo Jiang Cheng’s purple ribbon, his hair still up in the same hairstyle he wore when he was sixteen, perhaps his hair longer now, he must find out. Jiang Cheng buries his face in the crook of his neck, biting and nibbling while his body rehearses the dance they’ll be performing later on. “Why would you want to sleep with me among all?”

Jiang Cheng meets his gaze. “You’re teasing me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” A sly smile stretches on his lips. “Have you seen you, Wanyin? Because I have,” he purrs. Jiang Cheng averts his gaze, his cheeks flushing in pink, but Nie Huaisang cups his face and tilts his head to him. “You’ve become a powerful cultivator and a gorgeous man, a respected sect leader, a feared one even… just like my brother.” His shyness only encourages him. He wonders if anyone in his life has told him the truth about who he has become or has admired and praised him for it. “I’m glad you haven’t married yet,” he whispers into his mouth, a leg gliding up and down his side in a suggestive caress. “I envy your past lovers even though you’re in my bed now, and I’m dead jealous of the future mistress of Lotus Pier.”

Jiang Cheng’s eyes widen in surprise. “Huaisang, I haven’t been with a woman either,” he says as if confessing his inexperience would shield him from his inability to please him in bed. “They don’t seem to like me much,” he adds.

Nie Huaisang lets out a chortle. “Bad taste,” he retorts, “very bad taste.” He always thought there was a veil of insecurity hindering Jiang Cheng’s success, but he never thought it would transfer to their bedtime in such an adorable way. Nie Huaisang doesn’t mind at all; he thanks the heavens for being able to bed Jiang Cheng first, to show him the art of lovemaking, the tricks of a consummate lover, to offer him whatever he needs or want because he’s there to be owed and become his, once and for all. Even if it lasts a night, or three, and he has to live off of these memories for the rest of his miserable life.

“If me being a man is an issue,” Nie Huaisang trails off, his finger tracing Jiang Cheng’s sharp jaw until it bumps on his lips. “I can turn around and you can pretend I’m a woman,” he teases, but his lover takes him seriously.

A worrisome furrow appears between his eyebrows, and Jiang Cheng bites his forefinger gently, stealing a soft whine from Nie Huaisang. “I won’t pretend you’re anybody else,” he scoffs. “I want _ you _.” Nie Huaisang’s fingers hover over his mouth and he kisses his fingertips, his hand sneaking in between them to wrap around his cock. “I love that you’re a man.” He strokes him, sensing how he swells under his touch. “I love that you are more beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen,” he says. “And I’ve met quite a few beauties -he smiles- but no one like you, no one who made me want to stop the world and live in your bed and your body for the rest of my days.”

“Wanyin!” Nie Huaisang chides, his pink cheeks turning a bright red, his heart hammering in his chest. He wasn’t expecting such romantic words coming from him although his pillow knows all too well he has dreamed about it countless times. It caught him off guard and left him defenseless.

“Sex meant nothing to me until you touched me,” Jiang Cheng grasps his wrist and kisses his palm, the words blurting out of him without a warning. “Until I had you in my arms and felt your mouth against mine. You reminded me of what once had driven me mad with want.”

“And what is that?” Nie Huaisang asks in a thin voice, wanting to listen to the words Jiang Cheng only confessed in his imagination.

Jiang Cheng lands a brief peck on his lips, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You, Huaisang, only you.”

“Oh, please, have me,” Nie Huaisang whines, his body arching into him, his mouth open for more than just a chaste kiss. “Wreck me,” he breathes out into his mouth, “do whatever you want to me until the night turns into dawn.”

“Then guide me, tell me how.” Jiang Cheng traps his mouth in a deep, wet embrace before he trails kisses down his chin and his throat. Nie Huaisang writhes, pursuing his mouth, whimpering softly when he bites a hard nub, melting when he traces an invisible line down his navel with the tip of his tongue. He needn’t tell him what to do, Jiang Cheng acts as if he were trying to devour him alive and that’s exactly what he wants.

Jiang Cheng settles between his legs and glances up at the wonderful view of a very flustered Nie Huaisang at his mercy. For the first time since they reunited, the fears that assaulted him are gone; no doubts, no second-guessing his actions or his heart. Something has stirred inside him; as though he had opened his eyes to a love he thought himself undeserving of. Nothing matters in his arms but them, the lost time between tumbled sheets, and the softness of his inner thighs as he bites him like a ripe apple.

He swipes his tongue over the indentations of his teeth. Marring his skin like this should be a punishable crime, and yet he’s willing to leave a thousand marks more as if the gesture would claim him as his own. His hand fondles his way up to his stomach and his chest, and Nie Huaisang traps his wrist and shoves his fingers into his mouth until his fingertips feel the back of his throat. When they leave his mouth, they’re wet. After last night, he knows what to do with them.

“Put them in me,” Nie Huaisang purrs. Jiang Cheng hugs his trembling thigh, spreading his leg and tugging both his fingertips into his rim. Nie Huaisang’s moans encourage him, the subtle tilting of his hips, the way he hugs his other leg to his stomach to let him see. It’s tight, and hot, and his hole seems to fight the intrusion but he’s relentless, prodding and tugging until both his fingers sink into his heat. “Oh heavens,” Nie Huaisang gasps, relaxing despite his ragged breath. “You’re everything but shy,” he teases.

“We’ve done this before,” Jiang Cheng quips, withdrawing his fingers only to push them in once more. Nie Huaisang squeezes him, the shallow thrusts of his hand stretching him mercilessly, but he endures the sudden burn for it’ll mean to receive him sooner. Every time it is easier to let them in. 

Jiang Cheng misses nothing since the slow pace seems to elicit the sweetest neediest sounds from Nie Huaisang. “Do you like this?” he asks.

Nie Huaisang chuckles, sunk in a myriad of pillows and his own mussed hair. “It’s very pleasant.” He arches an eyebrow at him as a silent invitation. “I could do this to you, Wanyin.”

Jiang Cheng stills as if considering the offer, gazing at the way his fingers enter and leave him in a pleasant glide thanks to his saliva. “Would you?” Jiang Cheng swallows, meeting Nie Huaisang’s golden eyes.

“I would. I will,” Nie Huaisang smirks, “and then you’d know how it is.” He thrashes his head back to enjoy the torturous pace of his fingers, the ticklish kisses on his inner thigh, the tongue tracing the line of his hip and sending a whole-body shudder through him. “Go deeper,” he whines and embraces the intrusion until Jiang Cheng’s palm is against his sac.

“Like that?”

His cock is already leaking a clear trail on his lower belly, “Yes,” he moans. A spasm courses through him when Jiang Cheng curls his fingertips upward and brushes his prostate. He clenches around him and mumbles a curse under his breath.

Years and years enjoying many fleeting lovers and sexual encounters only to melt with Jiang Cheng’s fingers up his ass when this was usually the boring preparation previous to a tryst; a solitary task he’d take care of on his own and not an act of love and intimacy. This feels so different his heart shrinks.

Jiang Cheng mouthing at his balls brings him out of his reverie. Nie Huaisang stares at him behind hooded lids, at his lips parting, a teasing tongue tracing his way up to his needy cock. Jiang Cheng scoots closer to reach the tip, licks his lips right after stealing a clear droplet from there.

Nie Huaisang smiles, grasping his cock by the hilt and pointing it at him invitingly. “Take it.” Jiang Cheng closes his lips around him and slides his length inside his mouth until he gags. “Easy,” he teases, a soft chuckle rumbling in his chest. “I’ll let you practice all you want.”

While his fingers stretch him by the art of persistence, Jiang Cheng struggles to suck him in and out. Nie Huaisang ghosts his fingers over his head, threading on a side to get his attention. Jiang Cheng glances up at him, his cheeks hollowing, his tongue brushing the underside and curling his stomach nice and warm. “Stay,” Nie Huaisang says, and with the balls of his feet anchored on the bed, he rocks his hips into his mouth, noting the velvety touch of his lips around his girth and the swiping of his tongue. “Don’t fight it,” he mumbles, reassuring his inexperienced lover. “I won’t go too deep, I promise.”

Jiang Cheng’s mouth is a hot, wet cave that makes all his fantasies a reality. Lips red as sin, his fingers invading him over and over. Nie Huaisang thrusts upward until his lips brush his knuckles, and he releases the hilt and lets Jiang Cheng take more if he wants. And he does, following his willing movements as if he could keep going like this until Nie Huaisang deemed fit. His hand tugs at his hair, and it only encourages him to suck his cock harder.

He wished his hair were loose and free for him to take a handful and own his mouth with the thrusting of his hips. “Wanyin,” he breathes out in a moan, slumping back on the bed and sliding out of his mouth when he senses his climax tightening his groin. But Jiang Cheng’s mouth peppers kisses on his cock as if he hadn’t had enough of him yet.

“I want you to do this to me,” Jiang Cheng says in a raspy whisper, his fingers pushing deeper inside him only to leave him awfully empty on the next heartbeat. “I want to experience everything that I’ve been missing with you.” He crawls up and bites his side, kisses the ridge of his hip, loves the way his kisses and his mouth leave watercolor marks on his jade skin. “Huaisang.”

The deepest, heated gaze stares at him; eyes brimming with newfound affection Nie Huaisang longs to see in him every day. If only they could. “Yes?” he whispers.

“Turn around,” Jiang Cheng presses a smile on his stomach. “I want to see you.” He wants another peek at his tight hole, he wants to anticipate how it would feel to invade him in such a shameful yet satisfying way. Sliding inside him, sharing intimacy unknown for him until two days ago.

Nie Huaisang graces him with a mischievous smile before he flips on his stomach, knees lifting him up in the air in a cat stretch. Jiang Cheng marvels at how the sight of his tight entrance arouses him, his fingertips running down his rim, teasing at his hole. He swallows the urge to thrust inside him and forget the dread of his life on his body. His hands leave marks in the shape of his fingertips as he spreads his butt cheeks.

Nie Huaisang reaches for a vial of oil underneath the pillows, eager to feel the stretch of his cock. He has pretended his lovers were him on many occasions, but the deed usually stirred the unrequited love he nursed in his heart. His fantasy died way too soon afterward to be worth the trouble. But Jiang Cheng is the one with him now pampering him in kisses and affection he never thought him able to. Nie Huaisang glances at him over his shoulder, the vial of oil tightly secured in his palm. He would have let him take him whole in a ruthless onslaught if that’s what Jiang Cheng’s heart desired, but what he sees is a lovestruck stare that glitters in a mixture of lust and love that swells his heart.

And then Jiang Cheng surprises him once more. “Wanyin.” he whines. His lover puts his mouth on his hole and lashes his tongue on his rim. Nie Huaisang bites back a moan, his knees inadvertently spreading further apart. His tongue brushes and darts against him, smearing spit in an intimate caress he wasn’t expecting. The withheld moan finally comes out as he calls for him again. “Wanyin!”

Jiang Cheng pulls back, both hands hanging onto his buttocks for dear life. “Not good?” he asks, a tinge of doubt in his voice. “I thought if I have to get you wet it’d be faster this way.”

Nie Huaisang stifles a laugh in the pillow, holding onto the vial of oil for later. “Good thinking,” he teases, showing his beet-red face to him. “Please, your tongue feels so good.” As if Jiang Cheng needed the encouragement, he buries his face in between his cheeks and resumes the lashing of his tongue.

The sensation is so delectable Nie Huaisang muffles his moans against the bedding, hands wringing the sheets for support as he tries to grasp the idea of Jiang Cheng paying such detailed attention to him. For an inexperienced lover, he’s surely imaginative. His tongue darts into him, licks him in a myriad of different ways while he tries to calm his ragged breath and his cock leaks a clear trail on the linens. If that’s his way of exploring him, he might die in this bed before the sun rises.

His hands hold onto him bruisingly, and Nie Huaisang is sure he could collapse on the mattress that Jiang Cheng’s mouth would follow him wherever he went. When a hand cradles his balls and slides down his needy cock, Nie Huaisang flinches, a jolt of pleasure flashing through him. “Oh, Wanyin,” he moans. He strokes him in a loose fist while his tongue pushes inside him with love and care no other lover ever had for him.

He thought he had the upper hand in all this, but he was always at his mercy. A smile, a word, a gaze full of desire, a gentle touch. He should have known Jiang Cheng would have this effect on him even after so many years, but everything Nie Huaisang could do was to yield and surrender despite the brave, detached lover role he tried to fit. Has he ever fallen out of love with him? What a fool he’s been when they needed just a push to drown into this pool of lust.

Jiang Cheng loves how the tender skin of his hole tastes, how he dares to push his tongue in and out and feels the heat, the stretched muscle clenching around the tip as he strokes him increasingly fast. “Wait, Wanyin,” Nie Huaisang begs. But Jiang Cheng doesn’t listen, he reads his body better than his words, and he swipes his tongue up and down his rim, his hand squeezing his hard cock in a wet, slippery embrace. “Please,” he moans.

Jiang Cheng smiles when he notes the fluttering of his hole against his tongue, struggling to keep his mouth on him while Nie Huaisang fucks into his hand for more. His cock twitches during his release and he keeps going until it softens into his fist, his boneless body collapsing on the mattress and a blue streak of pleases coming out of his lips like a mantra.

A trail of kisses go up to his spine, his body particularly responsive after his recent climax. Nie Huaisang can’t even mind the uncomfortable stickiness on his belly. If by the end of the night they ruin his bed this way, he’ll be satisfied. “You came too fast,” Jiang Cheng teases.

Nie Huaisang chuckles at his remark. “And whose fault is that?”

“Mine,” Jiang Cheng smiles, nuzzling at his nape. The thought of pleasuring him beyond his control despite his lack of knowledge in bed swells his chest with pride. Jiang Cheng had one fear: not to pleasure him how he deserves, how his past lovers might have. He wouldn’t stand to be a lackluster bed partner when Nie Huaisang offers him the world at every caress. His insecurities fade away in his creamy skin, in the shallow moans as he tries to catch up with his breath. “Was it good?” he whispers against his ear. Jiang Cheng lies on top of him, his weight trapping him against the mattress, his cock trailing the wet path he left down his rim.

Nie Huaisang turns his head about. “Outstanding.” He kisses his swollen lips, squirming into his embrace until he flips on his back. “Let me take care of you,” he whispers into his mouth.

“No.” Jiang Cheng seems to never have enough of his mouth by the way he kisses him, and Nie Huaisang has never been more willing to let him abuse it to his heart’s content. “Not until I’m inside you.” Kisses meant nothing to Nie Huaisang, and now they promise him the skies.

“Give me a moment, then,” Nie Huaisang teases, wishing to elongate the night and stretch the hours until the morning light seeps through the windows. Jiang Cheng follows the same path to his nipples, biting and testing them with teeth, lips, and tongue. “Or get me hard again.” A sly smile stretches on Nie Huaisang lips, but it vanishes when Jiang Cheng crawls down his body and engulfs his soft cock into his mouth. “Wanyin!” His fingers toy with the remnants of his release on his lower belly, and Nie Huaisang yields to the surge of overstimulation coursing through him and reminding him who is in his bed for the first time and who might never be.

Despite the prompt complaint, his hands go to Jiang Cheng’s head to tug and thread in his hair, messing it up until his top knot falls apart. While the molten heat of his mouth surrounds him again and his cock swells against his flat tongue, Nie Huaisang combs his fingers freely through his hair, undoing his side braids and scratching his scalp as if that would distract him from the nigh unbearable sensation of being sucked so soon after his climax.

After a few moments indulging in this recently acquired skill, Jiang Cheng takes him out languidly. He’s half-hard, his cock pinkish and throbbing. “Fast learner,” Nie Huaisang retorts, eyeing Jiang Cheng’s smug smile as he sits on his calves and runs the tip of his tongue over his lips.

“You’re such a treat,” Jiang Cheng says with confidence. Nie Huaisang’s praises swell his heart, from his words to the flush on his cheeks and his never-tiring desire for him.

As if he knew no shame, Nie Huaisang gathers his knees up and spreads his legs, fetching the vial of oil from underneath the pillows without taking his eyes off of him. He would swear a growl rumbled in Jiang Cheng’s chest while he coated his length in warm, slippery oil. “For you, although I wouldn’t mind your tongue down on me as the first option,” he whispers, smirking when Jiang Cheng trembles at every long stroke of his hand. “Don’t come too fast, Wanyin.” Nie Huaisang runs oily fingers on his rim before he cleans his hand on the sheets and lies back.

At the sight of Nie Huaisang offering himself like this, letting him own and sate his thirst into his body, Jiang Cheng’s mouth opens in anticipation. He wonders how their mating would have been in their youth, if their raw love would translate into this or if Nie Huaisang’s innocence would have covered them both in a security blanket as his expertise does now. His hands fondle his sides, sensing the warmth of his skin until he hugs his hips in a forceful grip. Perhaps this is happening precisely when it should, and his sorrowful past and his lonely life is what drives him now to take him despite everything else; what gives him the courage to claim him and unravel the secrets of his heart. Jiang Cheng scoots closer, his glistening cock sliding against Nie Huaisang’s. 

“I’ve been such a fool not pursuing you back then,” he mumbles, his words following his inner turmoil.

Nie Huaisang stretches an arm to cup his face, and their gazes meet in a shared anguish that seems to conquer them at the mere mention of the past. “Whenever you wanted…” Nie Huaisang swallows, fearful to let too much of his heart seep through his words and yet willing to do so. He would endure a heartbreak, would he? “I’m yours to take.”

“Huaisang,” he whispers his name as an endearment. 

Jiang Cheng leans forward, swiveling his hips back and aligning his cock against his hole. He pushes in and Nie Huaisang’s eyes wrinkle shut, his mouth parting in an inaudible gasp. In the next breath, the sudden tightness recedes to allow him in, and Jiang Cheng works his way inside him with short, decisive thrusts. A low groan intertwines with a deep moan. As their bodies join, their hearts halt.

His body hugs him as though they were meant to be, their lips hovering over each other, his thighs nestling Nie Huaisang’s buttocks while his legs spread and brush his sides in a lover’s embrace. They remain still, drowning into each other’s eyes as if time had stopped for a greater good. Jiang Cheng realizes he will never get used to sleeping in an empty bed after this, that nothing will ever be as enthralling as to invade his body and feel the nigh unbearable heat of being inside him.

“Move,” Nie Huaisang whispers against his mouth, arms gingerly threading around his neck as he anticipates what comes next. They breathe the same heated air for a moment before Jiang Cheng slides the last inch inside him until there’s nothing between them but their sweat. He’s big, and thick, and his cock so hard Nie Huaisang swims in pleasure from the stretch itself.

The first thrust is as ruthless as he imagined it would be, and Nie Huaisang won’t be the one to tame Jiang Cheng’s lust; not tonight. He spreads his legs apart, allowing Jiang Cheng to hook one by the elbow pit and thrust even deeper inside him. “Yes.” It escapes him without a warning, and it encourages his lover as loose strands of hair tickle his cheeks.

He imagined he would be like this, unrestrained and unforgiving as the mean words that come out of his mouth more often than not; like the sharp pain that ruled his life and molded him into what he is. Jiang Cheng pulls back completely and comes back with a slam of his hips. He makes room for himself as an entitled lover meant to abuse him until exhaustion, and no complaint comes out of Nie Huaisang except the most delicious pleas for more.

His hard length steals his breath away, his legs trembling whenever he thrusts against his prostate and sends a surge of sensations that curl his groin in pleasure, harden his cock, and fog his mind. But Jiang Cheng slows down. The deep, mad pace he set for both turns shallow and short as if leaving him was unbearable and he could only find pleasure in the tight hug of his body. His movements seemed gauged to perfection, and Nie Huaisang can’t decide if to laugh or cry at the consummation of their love. He knew sooner or later Jiang Cheng would shake his world, and he truly hoped it happened against a mattress.

_ Catch me_, Nie Huaisang prays inwardly. _ Don’t let me fall alone_.

“I don’t want this to be over,” Jiang Cheng murmurs against his ear, traps his earlobe in between his lips and grunts as he bottoms out once more.

Does he mean the sex or them? Nie Huaisang chides himself for his childish thoughts and links his legs around his waist, spurring him on. “Don’t stop,” he whispers, his hands threading into his hair and taking a handful for a good tug. Their gazes meet. “Never stop.”

Jiang Cheng falls for his mouth and slams back into him, his tongue sliding in and out of his mouth while his cock mimics the same eager desires on his stretched entrance. The slight soreness is more like a pleasant invasion now, his spent cock finally hard and awakened against Jiang Cheng’s stomach. Nie Huaisang muffles the moans as he approaches his climax haphazardly fast. He recognizes the tamed thrusts trying to avoid spilling too soon, the deep long glides of his cock and subtle tremble of his body swathing his own. “Let go,” Nie Huaisang mumbles against his breathless kisses.

He loves him for not taking and leaving, for turning a tryst into a meaningful moment for broken souls even though if it’s just that, a moment in time. Will they ever heal? Will they survive the night or perish in the other’s arms before dawn? There is no other place he’d rather die than in his arms, with the full extension of his love flooding him.

“No,” Jiang Cheng growls while devouring his mouth. He’s never experienced joy like this; as if he belonged; as if he deserved every shallow breath, every pitiful moan, every tremble of his body against him. If this is the so-called love that was snatched, denied or stolen from him, Jiang Cheng is ready to soak the affection and cry a river for it is worth all the pain. While gliding against his body, he nibbles his plump lips to distract himself from his imminent climax.

Despite his urge to pound into him until he forgets his own birth name, Jiang Cheng burns them slow with a gentle rocking and mellow kissing, and Nie Huaisang melts and hums softly against his mouth. “Is it always like this?” Jiang Cheng asks, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs and feeling them flushed in a rosy pink.

“No.” Nie Huaisang graces him with a knowing grin.

“Better?” Jiang Cheng frowns, and for a moment, Nie Huaisang believes he glimpsed a little pout. He shakes his head.

“No,” he whispers. How is he going to explain this has nothing to do with any encounter he has had in the past? That just the kiss he stole when they were teens playing with swords speeds up his heart faster than any orgasm, that a single caress prickles all the little hairs from his body and arouses him like no other lover. For Heaven’s sake, Nie Huaisang believes he could come by his heated gaze alone. “It’s you, Wanyin.” His heart shrinks as he voices out his unrequited feelings. “No one has made me feel like you do. It’s always been you.”

Jiang Cheng presses their foreheads together as his words sink into his mind, and his heart, and leave him speechless. “But I’m…” _I'm nothing but a failure. _ He’s done nothing remarkable despite having rebuilt his sect from the ashes, but he paid the highest price losing his family and drowned in self-inflicted loneliness. “I couldn’t love you when I should have.” Nie Huaisang shushes him.

“I feel loved now,” he says with tear-dimmed eyes.

“You are,” Jiang Cheng breathes out while peppering kisses on his lips. The gentle movements of his body slow down in favor of their shared confession. “I swear you are loved.” The words that seemed to constrict his throat so long ago, pour out of him with selfless interest, as the pecks dropping on his lips and cheeks, as the taste of a pair of salty tears he traps into his mouth as if they were never there. “I am here, and you are mine,” Jiang Cheng promises.

There are no words to describe the love that sprouted fifteen years ago, the love that bloomed as unexpectedly as Jinlin Tower’s gardens or the one that swells his chest with pride and emotions. He repressed them in favor of a bitter character and an even bitter life with little joy and many restrictions. Imposed by himself, disburdened by Nie Huaisang.

“Yours,” Nie Huaisang sobs, his heart thundering at Jiang Cheng’s words, his mind betraying him and telling him this is just wishful thinking and bedtimes confessions that will vanish in the morning light. They always do for he always wakes up alone and cold.

Jiang Cheng pulls back enough to cradle his face with a warm trembling hand. “Mine.” Nie Huaisang nods, a withheld smile on his lips. “No one’s allowed to touch you, or bed you,” he mutters, jealousy churning his stomach when there’s no reason for it. “You’re mine and mine alone.” He takes his mouth to muffle any protest, but Nie Huaisang bites his lower lip hard enough for it to sting.

“Make love to me then,” he retorts when he pulls back, and Jiang Cheng rewards him with a ruthless onslaught that reminds him he’s steel-hard inside him. “Turn me around, go deeper, and harder,” he teases into his mouth. “If I’m yours prove it.” Nie Huaisang lets his tongue out to trace his lips and dip into his mouth. “Own me like no one has and I’ll be yours.” 

As if he wasn’t doomed since they met; as if seeing Jiang Cheng admiring the gardens with a lonesome air and the deepest sorrow in his gaze hadn’t awakened years of spite and unrequited love. They bloomed in love hard to forget or ignore, in the kind of love that ends with heartbreak and changes you forever. Nie Huaisang wished he had been stronger, keeping his distance from him, but he failed miserably.

Jiang Cheng growls as he pulls out of him and flips him on his stomach. Nie Huaisang anchors his knees on the bed and leans his forehead on the pillows, expectant. It takes him less than a second to find his way inside him, and the moment he does there is no truce for Jiang Cheng thrusts and molds his whole body with his own. His weight is like a blessing, stealing the air from his lungs, his cock splitting him open in the most intense sex he’s ever had; probably because they’re making love.

“Mine,” he whispers against his nape, his hips slamming back into him.

“Yours,” Nie Huaisang moans, unable to deny him when he’s filled to the brim by the object of his obsession all these past years.

There’s no more restraint in his actions; Jiang Cheng can’t find the will to think and he promises to himself to go at it again right after he’s done. But now he only knows about his creamy skin flushed against his chest, about the sound of flesh against flesh that’s surely leaving his butt red by the clashing of their bodies.

He wheezes against his ear, his forearms anchored firmly on the mattress while he pulls his cock out and plunges back in at a mad pace that’s sending them both to heaven and back. Sweet, sultry moans intertwined with his name goad him for more, for harder, and madness conquers Jiang Cheng while his slams become frantic and desperate, seeking release into the wonderful trap of his body.

Nie Huaisang’s judgment blurs as it never does during sex. He never loses control and yet he’s babbling and asking for more when he cannot take it. Jiang Cheng has long forgotten his tamed intentions and pounds into him so hard his knees falter and his cock rubs against the silky bedding at every thrust. He wrings the sheets with both hands for support, his hot breath puffing against his ear, his thick cock stretching him and filling him in a hot searing tempo that’s too much for his poor heart. He knew he’d be like this, and he loves him even more for the long, soul-tearing encounter that’s about to end when Jiang Cheng grasps his cock and pulls. Nie Huaisang climbs to his climax with his name on his lips, “Wanyin!” and falls.

It’s the mere thought of what they’re doing that sends him over the edge, the realization he’s fucking Nie Huaisang senseless as he moans and whines for more; buried in his body, performing what comes to him as natural as breathing. That does it for Jiang Cheng who feels his hole clenching tightly around him and trapping him there as he comes. Nie Huaisang squirms and muffles his release on the pillows while Jiang Cheng buries his face in the crook of his neck and thrusts so deep his knees slide on the mussed sheets and he topples over him.

His balls tighten and his cock jerks as he comes, Jiang Cheng spills and rocks inside him, riding out his orgasm until the last spasm courses through their bodies. Relief invades them like it hadn’t in a century, sharing a ragged breath and lying closer than they’ve ever been. They remain like this, Nie Huaisang turning his head to the side to gasp for air, Jiang Cheng boneless on top of him and puffing his ragged breath against his cheek. He kisses him there, so sweetly Nie Huaisang smiles. 

After studying his beauty for the past couple of days, Jiang Cheng realizes in the afterglow of his climax Nie Huaisang is still the same innocent, teenage kid with a silly laugh and the most beautiful smile of all. And he loves him for it, and feels no shame or regret to admit that to himself, or… to him. “I love you,” Jiang Cheng murmurs in a breath.

“Do you mean it?” His breath seizes in his chest despite what they have just shared is undeniable.

“I think I always have.” Jiang Cheng presses a smile on a full, pinkish face, his hand traveling down his side until he squeezes a round butt cheek. There was a time when he thought he’d never smile again; that he would never experience the joy he nurses in his heart when he’s with him. “Tell me you’re mine,” he whispers against his ear, his fingers sneaking between them and feeling the proof of what they just did as if he were still fascinated by the act itself and wishing to take another taste.

Nie Huaisang chuckles, their legs entangle as he leans into his shameless touch. “I am yours, you, possessive man,” he quips.

A shaky breath leaves Jiang Cheng despite the teasing tune in Nie Huaisang’s voice. “Tell me you love me too?” His voice wavers ever so slightly, his lips bumping on his earlobe at every word and melting his heart. Nie Huaisang stifles a laugh and rolls them over, straddling Jiang Cheng, only covered by his long, onyx hair. One leg hangs from the bed, his toes grazing the cold, wooden floor, his hands pushing him down.

“Do you doubt my heart, Wanyin?” Nie Huaisang graces him with a sultry smile. “Because from all the things you could doubt in this world, that the rain pours down and my heart belongs to you are not among them.” Jiang Cheng tries to straighten to kiss him, but Nie Huaisang tackles him down, leaning down to whisper against his mouth while Jiang Cheng’s hands roam from his thighs to his hips. 

“Tell me.”

“I love y…” A kiss seals his mouth and their promise of shared love; a kiss that tastes of loneliness and promises the stars. Jiang Cheng has changed so much in three nights, from the bitter, distant sect leader to the same teenage boy that dared to steal his first kiss with the same lips that kiss him now. “Again,” Nie Huaisang mumbles against his mouth.

“Insatiable,” Jiang Cheng hisses, his hands moving to his buttocks with renewed desire. He attempts rolling on top of him again, but Nie Huaisang straightens and stops him, escaping his mouth and his lewd intentions.

“Lie back, my love,” Nie Huaisang combs his hair back with a flick of his hand. “Now that I don’t have to go easy on you,” he crooks an eyebrow at him, Jiang Cheng’s cheeks turning an adorable shade of red, “I will ride you until the sunrise.”

The night that followed was so far-fetched not even in his best dreams he could have replicated what they shared. It was not about settling a debt anymore or getting into trouble tempting a man Nie Huaisang thought would never want him. His little game turned into so much more. Jiang Cheng didn’t just want him, he ached for him, existed to please his whims and take what he could have taken since their first kiss. Nie Huaisang got a glimpse of the man he loved, and loves, and will love for as long as he walks the earth, and the justified fears about losing him cannot even find the way to his heart anymore.

Jiang Cheng drowned into his body until he could barely move, he made love to him, fucked him, both at the same time, and they ended up in a mess of limbs and emotions hard to detangle from their sheets.

After a sleepy bath and merely hours before the sunrise, Nie Huaisang opens his eyes while it’s still dark. He doesn’t recall how he got into bed, and he means to move and find himself alone when he notes the hard body pressed against his back, the long limbs holding him close, the warm leg tucked between his own thighs and forbidding every attempt of escape on his part. As if he would! Nie Huaisang snuggles back into him, his hands stroking Jiang Cheng’s arms and fingers as though he still couldn’t wrap around this unexpected liaison.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted,” Jiang Cheng whispers almost inaudibly against his ear. It’s taking him years to confess that one truth to himself, at least out loud. But it was his face the one that startled him awake at night, hard and burning with unfulfilled desires, and as much as he tried to forget and erase, it took one look at him without anyone around for his heart to fall on his knees before him.

“Stay,” Nie Huaisang mumbles. “Wanyin, stay until I wake up.”

Arms tighten around his seemingly frail frame. With love words whispered only for his ears and in the safety of a dark room and an even darker night, Nie Huaisang slept a full night in the safety of his embrace, free of the ghosts of the past, of the demons of the present, and the intrigues stealing his life away and pushing him into the same ailment that stole his brother from him.

Despite their best efforts to stretch the night, morning came faster than any of them expected, but the lack of sleep has no effect on lustful lovers, thankful for the hours of sleep and with stamina to spare. Jiang Cheng kept his promise and Nie Huaisang woke up in his arms, with tender kisses pressed on his shoulder, with greedy hands exploring his body and awakening him in more than one way.

Whatever doubts arose about what befell that night, they didn’t voice them out. Instead, they indulged in the other with the sunshine seeping through the windows. Nie Huaisang didn’t wake up cold and alone but swathed by his caresses, their bodies sliding against each other and refusing to leave the bed. They bathed together again and ate as if they were in a bubble far from enemies and the full extent of the cultivation world. The taste of happiness swelled their hearts and brimmed their eyes with joy.

It wasn’t until they crossed the threshold of the guest residence that they realized they were in Lanling, that the last day of conference was about to take place, and they must part opposite ways. Tonight, they’ll both sleep in separate beds, so far from each other not even looking at the same sky would tame the nostalgia.

Before they reach the paved square, Nie Huaisang stares at the entrance of the main hall with a doleful expression until Jiang Cheng pulls at his arm and drags him behind a hidden path. Stifling a chuckle, Nie Huaisang huddles against him as they indulge in one last stroll through the same garden he followed him upon his arrival. And as if he’d been doing it his whole life, Jiang Cheng covers the cold hand around his elbow with a warm, gentle palm.

Once they’re far enough that their privacy is ensured, Jiang Cheng halts near a peony tree dotted with a myriad of red flowers, the bottom surrounded by white and yellow shrubs. “When are you leaving for Qinghe?” His question surprises him, he thought they could pretend a little longer.

“I have to stay for two more days,” Nie Huaisang sighs. “I require Sect Leader Jin’s help and he’s been kind enough to provide it after the conference is over.” He stares at the lavish display of flowers in front of them, pitying them for residing in a place so intricate as Jin Guangyao’s domains.

“Come to Lotus Pier after,” Jiang Cheng says, his hand moving to tilt Nie Huaisang’s face toward him. “Or I’ll visit the Unclean Realm.”

A mischievous smile stretches on his lips. “What for?” Nie Huaisang retorts, unable to keep a straight face but not reaching for the folding fan hanging from his wrist.

“You know what for,” Jiang Cheng whispers, a withheld smile on his lips, his heart thumping as if words of rejection would come out of his lips at any minute. Nie Huaisang stands on his tiptoes and finds his lips for a kiss in the open, one they shouldn’t indulge into, but they do. “You can’t say no to me,” he says.

“Why now, Wanyin?” Nie Huaisang fears there couldn’t be worse timing for this and yet he’d do it all over again in the blink of an eye.

“I had three days to realize I can’t let you go.” Jiang Cheng strokes his cheek with his knuckles, the memories of last night invading his mind mercilessly. Will the touch of his skin always send a frisson through his spine? “I could stay one more night here with you.”

“No.” Nie Huaisang accompanies his response with an effusive shaking of his head, and Jiang Cheng frowns. “You must go.” Trembling arms wrap around his waist, his face hiding from his scrutiny in his chest. Nie Huaisang thought he had perfected the art of pretense and here he is, unable to hide his emotions from the man that owns his heart, or what’s left of it.

The fear of what he’s plotting washes over him; the collateral damage, the war he might unleash, and the revenge he thought drove his life until those lips crashed again against his mouth and reminded him there is more to life. He can’t endanger Jiang Cheng’s future, he can’t make him an accomplice to his madness. Nie Huaisang has to write his own story for the sake of his big brother.

“Why are you scared, Huaisang?” Jiang Cheng murmurs, cradling him in his arms like he’d done to Jin Ling in many sleepless nights. “What is there to fear?”

“There’s so much I want to tell you and I can’t,” he sobs.

“Then, don’t,” Jiang Cheng kisses the crown of his head. “But let me hold you in the meantime, let us be together.”

A face twisted in so many emotions that he can’t read any of them stares up at him. “No one can know about us,” Nie Huaisang says, his bottom lip quivering slightly until he gets ahold of himself and hides all his fears and insecurities at the bottom of his soul. Jiang Cheng gazes back at him with a furrow between his eyebrows, his lips pressed in a thin line. Confused or doubtful? “Because there is an us, yes?” His mouth curls upward in a tender smile that seizes the beating of his heart. If a part of Jiang Cheng worries about his impromptu need of discretion, it doesn’t show.

“Us,” he gasps, pressing their lips together until Nie Huaisang softens his countenance and lets out a sigh of relief. Staring into two pools of gold, Jiang Cheng cups his face and kisses his forehead as if the gesture could ease the worries troubling his mind. But the only thing Jiang Cheng knows is that he belongs, after so many years he owns and is owned by the man in his arms and whatever is that fate has on hold for them, he won’t let anyone or anything rip him out of his side.

He reaches for a red peony with slender fingers and plucks it out of his home and into Nie Huaisang’s palm. “We’ll see each other again before it withers.”

“You promise?” Nie Huaisang says with a sultry smile, burying his nose in the fragrant petals.

“I promise,” Jiang Cheng says, linking his arm around his waist. “I’ll come to you as I should have.” And after years of not trusting his shadow, Nie Huaisang believes him and smiles despite everything else.

They saunter the gardens following the path to their inevitable destiny, the flower primly tucked in his sleeve, his folding fan offering a gentle breeze to his heated cheeks. Jiang Cheng’s kisses tingle on his lips even after they’re gone, and he’ll have to relish in their taste while they are still this close. Nie Huaisang peeks his destination through the rim of the garden, and unfolds his arm, letting him go. It wouldn’t be safe, he keeps repeating to himself despite it kills him to not scream his love for him to the whole cultivation world. Jiang Cheng seems not to mistrust his feelings as if he possessed a certainty not even Nie Huaisang has in himself.

Jiang Cheng grasps his hand and squeezes it, calling for him one last time. “Huaisang.”

Nie Huaisang turns about to stare into deep blue eyes that challenge the sky with their bright color. “Yes, love?”

If Jiang Cheng could stop time, he’d freeze this moment only to cherish in his sweet smile, in the way his name or an endearment come out of Nie Huaisang’s lips just for him. No matter how long they’re apart, his love for him won’t diminish, he’ll push the midnight doubts aside with the memories of three nights that burned into his soul like the sun itself.

“Whatever it is,” he pauses, his heart thumping, “you must know I can’t afford to lose you as I lost everyone else.” His thoughts find their way out in a show of vulnerability. But a beaming smile makes his worries vanish and his heart leap.

“You won’t.” Nie Huaisang strokes the back of his hand with his thumb. Standing on his tiptoes, he swipes his tongue on his bottom lip before a soft grunt comes out of Jiang Cheng and he indulges in yet another dangerous, foolish kiss that turns wild and heated. Despite the dangers awaiting around the corner, their long-overdue love was so thick it swallowed them whole. Now, and ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for accompanying me on another SangCheng fic! .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ It's always a pleasure to write them together, and you guys are always so sweet to me (.づ◡﹏◡)づ. This got way longer than I expected, but as I edited the chapter I couldn't remove any parts or scenes.
> 
> See y'all on the next one! ~ヾ ＾∇＾

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑ ˂ᵒ͜͡ᵏᵎ⁾✩

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Rain and Sparks Amidst Snow](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26431951) by [Meiilan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meiilan/pseuds/Meiilan)


End file.
